Things I Love

My guard girls had a competition in Provo last night, and we did not get home until extremely late. This morning, I had a class at 7:00 that I had to attend, so I had to wake up at 5:30. Although I downed a giant mocha, I had to keep physically moving in order to stay awake. Because I was confined in a desk, my staying-awake strategy was to write a list of things that I love. It's a great list. Here it is:

I love that upbeat classic rock is always playing when I walk into my 7:00 class.
I love that I have a 7:00 class and 7:30 class (most days).
I love that I'm getting paid to help with guard and hang out in the sun.
I love Taco Tuesday and watching So You Think You Can Dance with Jessey.
I love my Huffington Post app.
I love People magazine and doing the People magazine crossword.
I love that I get to read Ender's Game for a class.
I love binge-watching TV shows with my sister when we both happen to be at home.
I love working with Kellee, David, Chloe, and many others.
I love piercing people's ears.
I love skyping with Dani, Jaxson, and Tim.
I love that Dani, Jaxson, Tim, and Robyn came to BYU to watch my girls and to see me last night.
I love that Jaxson has learned to follow social cues, screaming when the crowd screams and shushing people when the crows calmed down.
I love phone calls with Texas, and listening to her life for half an hour before I get to talk.
I love working on Sundays, and the people I get to work with on Sundays.
I love that my body likes to fall asleep at 9 pm.
I love falling asleep in the bath tub.
I love jalapeno bagels and chai from the library cafe.
I love Tina Fey. Still, and always.
I love Billy Joel. Still, and always.
I love holding babies and buying baby clothes.
I love bargain shopping with my mom.
I love falling asleep watching golf with my dad, and staying wide awake watching baseball.
I love using my label maker.
I love getting books for Jaxson, and I love that he loves books.
I love watching vines.
I love that all-red packages of Starbursts and all flavors of Hi-Chews.
I love analyzing people's personalities with the color code.
I love going to my educational psych class.
And if you're reading this, I probably like you, too.

Balance

This post formed up in my head while driving today. The road is going to be curvy and winding and weird, but I promise I'll get to the point. :)

While driving to a parade with Launa, a lovely lady on band staff with me, the conversation turned to Billy Joel. I know. Typical. I was doing my regular fan girl gushing over him and Launa asked me about my favorite song of his. I named a few that I really liked, but the question prompted me to listen to my entire Billy Joel collection over the last few days in order to get a concrete answer. The votes are in. This is my favorite song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BGbeDb5VIk

I promise this isn't just going to be an ode to Billy Joel. I've already done that on this blog. But this song is so incredibly applicable to my life, more so than any other song I've heard.

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight...
Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong, you know

You can't always see when you're right...you're right

As does the fictional character in the song, I keep busy. I want to be successful and I know to do that I have to work hard. I like being busy. But I have the tendency to burn myself out. I put too much of myself into school and work and don't leave time for my relationships with friends and family, which are very important to me. For example, two semesters ago I left McDonald's for a short period of time and went to work at a call center. I didn't hold crazy hours, and the pay was a little bit higher when I was doing well, but I hated it. I even had a little more free time than I used to have. But the relationships weren't there for me. I didn't care about anyone I worked with, so I felt stressed all the time.

This semester, I've figured it out. This is, without a doubt, the busiest I have ever been. Several days of the week, I'm only home for a half hour period from 6 am to midnight. But I'm happier this semester than I've ever been. The solution:  One of my new jobs is coaching colorguard. In order to do this, I've had to cut back a few hours on each of my other jobs. But the payout (emotionally, not financially) I get from coaching is huge. I get to build relationships with my girls. I get to see them succeed. I get to see their "aha" moments and I get to see the pride in their face when they nail a move they've been struggling with. I get to see the thrill of performing on their faces and their absolute excitement and joy when they win. It's so affirming and validating knowing that I, in a small way, get to help them with this. 

This is the key. Not only is this job keeping me from totally losing it due to stress this semester, it's letting me know that my chosen profession is PERFECT for me. I'll get to see these same things when I teach, although they won't be on a field under the lights. I'm thriving in this situation, getting these girls from the beginning where many of them knew nothing, to the end where they're successful. I'm so stoked to finish school and start teaching, and to hopefully continue coaching for a while. I feel so fortunate to get to be with these girls every day. 

Positively Providential

Life has been so hectic lately, and I apologize to my (very few) faithful blog readers for my lack of posts. Rather than writing a series of detailed posts about my day-to-day life, I'm choosing for now just to write a list of events that are going on and things that are making me happy.

I was tossing solid sixes with one of my rifle girls the other day-I've still got it.
I get to see my two best friends and nephew in two weeks when they come up for a visit.
My colorguard girls are incredible and I'm already growing so very attached to them.
I am lucky enough to get to coach with one of my best friends by my side.
I realize every day how fortunate I am that my job is so flexible and that they take such good care of me.
I passed my kidney stone this morning. Don't care if this is too much information, I am EXTREMELY happy about it.
I am completely thrilled for school to start in two weeks.
My scholarship checks both came through so my semester is totally paid for.
I took 4 baths and read an entire book today, and I caught up on laundry and cleaning.
I'm learning Italian and don't feel like I am completely terrible at it so far.
My store's grand reopening is this weekend!!

I'm overall very pleased with where my life is headed and where it is right now. There's nothing like writing down the positives in your life to make you realize how truly fortunate you are. I feel very lucky to be who I am, to be where I am, and to know the people I know :)

This Is Robyn:

Robyn was one of my roommates during my second year at Snow. She has been on a mission on the east coast and is FINALLY coming home. In 4 days, I'll get to see this beauty for the first time in what seems like forever.
Robyn is the glue of every relationship she's in. When I met her, I thought she was going to be super high maintenance, but she's pretty much the opposite. She's that person who changes into sweats the second she gets home. She eats large amounts of food and candy. She is gracious. She loves Tina Fey and 30 Rock.  She is hardworking and dedicated to whatever she is doing at the time. She is supportive. She's driven. She is one of the friendliest, most outgoing people I've ever met.
I am so stoked to see her again.

She came with us to get our tattoos

She likes to act like a G.

She makes uncomfortable social situations okay.

She's not afraid to look like an idiot if it means she's having a good time.

She loves wildlife.

She makes great airport welcome home signs.

Clarity

I am a worrier. I don't mean that I worry in the sense that I concern myself with little things. I mean worry in the sense that if I don't do everything in exactly the right order and exactly the right time period with the exact desired results, I will end up homeless living under a freeway overpass and begging truckers for the remains of their bags of Fritos in order to survive.

I'm just about to enter my teaching program, and as I've started the preparation I've become so preoccupied with all of the things that are coming up: The Praxis, practicums, student teaching, paperwork, choosing a school district to teach in, preparing lesson plans, building a professional wardrobe, and other anxieties about my chosen profession. This type of thinking has been my modus operandi for as long as I can remember.

However, there comes a time and place when you must push everything aside, take a deep breath, and realize that everything will work out. For me, it was when I had a beer with my 7th grade science teacher at The Owl tonight. We began talking about teaching (much to the chagrin of our companions, I'm sure) and  I felt very calm about the whole thing. Something came over me that just brought me to the realization that things will work out. They may not work out on the exact timeline that I had planned or in the order that is typically expected, but something will work out. I have no idea what particular details of the night made my brain rearrange its thought process, but I am so glad it happened.

This brief moment of intense clarity was exactly what I needed. I don't feel as dumb about not graduating on time as I did this morning. I don't care that my chosen future career is sometimes looked down upon. I'm trying really hard not to care that I may not be the best at everything I do--these things take time--but it's coming.

I'm content and confident.

:)

I Believe

Living in a culture where the majority of people around you have a clear cut set of beliefs can be interesting. When people around you find out you don't share their beliefs, they tend to react one of four ways: They can try to convert you, they choose to no longer associate with you, they assume ambivalence, or they try to get to know more about your beliefs. Lately I've been getting a lot of questions from friends old and new about what I believe in. It's true; I don't have a clear cut set of beliefs. I don't subscribe to any particular religion or guided way of life. This isn't to say that I think religion is bad. I just think it serves a purpose in some people's lives that may not be needed in the lives of others.

I thought I'd write an "I Believe" post to show that, while I do have morals, opinions, and a dos and don'ts list, I'm kind of making it up as I go and doing what I feel is best for the situation I'm in and for the people around me.

I believe that, when the opportunity arises, you should always help people. Even if the act seems small, I think it can turn a person's day around. This spans from holding a door open for a stranger to helping a classmate study for a test to helping a friend move to being available to talk when a friend has a problem. You'll never regret helping someone out.

I believe in the idea of "what goes around comes around." I think if you help people as often as you can, you'll receive help when you're in need. I think too often people expect to receive help when they are unwilling to do the same for other people.

I believe in working hard. I've had a job since I was 15. I work to get the grades I want and to accomplish the goals I've set for myself both at work and school. I don't understand the idea of people showing up to work and just standing around. I believe people should earn what they receive.

I believe in being honest. I used to have a problem with exaggerating. I'd tell stories and exaggerate them into these phenomenal epics until they barely resembled the actual event. I made a conscious decision to stop doing this and to be straight forward and even blunt with people, and it's worked out so much better for me.

I believe in putting relationships first. I think family and friends should be the first and second most important priorities in your life. There's nothing wrong with trying new things and moving away and working hard, but if you ignore your relationships they'll quickly dwindle and may not always still be there when you get back. I believe that relationships take time and effort from both parties.

I believe that people should be allowed to make their own choices unless they infringe on someone else's personal space, safety, or happiness. To this effect, I don't think drinking is wrong unless you put yourself in the situation to hurt someone while you're doing it. I don't think swearing is wrong unless the words are being used abusively towards someone or the words make someone in the conversation uncomfortable. I don't see anything wrong with having tattoos or extra piercings or unnatural hair colors or wearing two piece swimsuits and tank tops.

I believe in a god, although I don't think he or she has as much to do with our day-to-day lives as we often think. I came across this quote in an Ellen Hopkins book some time ago and it has stayed with me ever since. "God is love. And he respects love, whether it's between a parents and child, a man and woman [a man and a man, a woman and a woman], or friends. I don't think he cares about religion one little bit. Live your life right. Love with all your heart. Don't hurt others, and help those in need. That is all you need to know. And don't worry about heaven. If it exists, you'll be welcome."

I hope this clears things up for those of you who have asked me questions. I hope I've written something that you can ponder upon and maybe strikes a chord. Or maybe you think I've written a load of garbage and you want to stick to your own beliefs. That's fine too. I think the most important thing about this post is that ultimately, it's actions that matter more than beliefs.

21 Reasons My Best Friend is Better Than Your Best Friend (yes, this is a competition)

1) Dani can dance like there's no tomorrow.
2) I've never seen a human being alive with more love for babies and little kids than Dani.
3) I admire how persevering and strong Dani is. She keeps trucking on, even when things are tough.
4) Dani gives PHENOMENAL advice. She is always level headed and her opinion matters more to me than anyone else.
5) She can cook pancakes like nobody's business.
6) She is a fantastic mother and wife.
7) She lets me organize her belongings.
8) Dani isn't afraid to look stupid. She'll sing her heart out and dance like crazy if it means she and the people around her are having a good time.
9) She reaches out to people. She was the one who initiated our friendship, for which I am eternally grateful.
10) She lets me vent to her at any time of the day or night.
11) She is willing to try anything once.
12) She'll watch stupid youtube videos with me for hours on end.
13) Dani is reliable. She is always available when I need to talk to her and she keeps her promises. Always.
14) Dani is the least judgmental person I've ever met. You could tell her you just murdered a pregnant Mother Teresa and she wouldn't judge you.
15) She drops everything and watches Grey's Anatomy with me every time we feel the desire.
16) She's seen me at my gross, sweaty, braless worst and still loves me.
17) She is loyal to a fault. She would never consider breaking a promise or betraying anyone in any way.
18) She has a great relationship with her family and friends.
19) Her laugh and smile are contagious; you can't help but laugh when she's laughing.
20) She has an incredible ability to memorize song lyrics-this is important because when we're singing along to songs in the car she can do all of the fast rap parts.
21) She knows literally everything about me. She knows the good, bad, and the ugly, and still she stays around.

How lucky am I?

Happy 21st, Danyelle. I hope you have many more prosperous years; know that I will be here for all of them.

Love, Katy

Honorary Calvert

When I was 6 my family moved out of Utah County and away from every member of my extended family on the maternal side. This side of the family still gets together almost weekly, just sans my immediate family and me.

On the paternal side of the family, for most of my youth my aunts, uncles, and cousins were spread all over the country:  California, Washington, Florida, Georgia, Texas, etc. I have one cousin around my age and one aunt that I'm pretty close to; other than that we're awkwardly formal at familial gatherings.

When we lived at Snow, the first time we ever went home to Dani's was the weekend of Thanksgiving Break. Dani's sister, Brooke, was having a birthday party that weekend, and I expected it would be a reasonably small gathering. Not so. Dani dropped me off at the place the party was being held, took off to go to work, and left me with 40 of her extended family members, none of which I had met before. I spent the next three hours blowing up balloons, making friends with Dani's small cousins, and being baffled over the thought of such a close knit extended family. I had no idea that extended families got together for things like this. They see each other constantly; they're at every birthday party, dance recital, kindergarten graduation, and everything in between.

Virtually every time I went home with Dani from then on, or when I visit her now, I get to see the entire family. And I LOVE it. Her little cousins are the cutest girls on the planet. Her aunt Challene is endlessly kind and interested in life's events, and is so easy to talk to. Her brothers and sisters are socially inept, but hilarious. They treat me like I belong there. they put me to work just like the other members of the family, they ask about life, and they include me in their conversations and stories. They invite me on their family outings, whether Dani is available to go or not. I'm more comfortable with Dani's extended family than I am with some of my own.  I love it.

This post is for you, Calvert family. Thanks for taking me in. :)

Snapchat

I recently downloaded Snapchat. I had it a few months ago, never used it, and subsequently deleted it. The other day I decided I would give Snapchat another try, so my sister gave me a tutorial. I downloaded it and Liz started walking me through the steps.

We saw the username of one of our close mutual friends, Kellee, and decided to send her a ridiculous Snap. So we got under the covers of my bed, pulled our tank top straps down, and positioned ourselves to look like we were naked. No big. We were still fully clothed. We sent the picture off and waited anxiously for Kellee to snap us back.

We soon got the notification of a new picture and opened it quickly. What did we see? A horrified Kellie-jo, my sweet friend from English class, with the caption "What the???!" I literally facepalmed my face in embarrassment and texted Kellie-jo, searching for words to explain our humiliating blunder. I also considered never going to English class again

In conclusion, I am an idiot and am never using any new modern technology for the rest of my life.

Grandpa

"Sir, how many packs of cigarettes have you smoked in your lifetime?"
"16,000. Well, hang on. I quit for basketball season and then started again, so...carry the 2. Yep. 16,000."

The above is a conversation between my grandfather and his doctor. He's been in the hospital and even though he's likely miserable, he still has his dry yet hilarious sense of humor going at all times. He jokes about the food, about the state of the nurses, and about how he's keeping my grandma from her shopping trips. He is one of the happiest, most optimistic people I know.

When I was 8, he gave me Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. Being the nerdy child I was, I quickly devoured it and distinctly remember telling my grandpa that it was "just all right." He chortled his wheezy little laugh and told me to reread it when I was older. I followed his advice in the 9th grade and found that I liked it more. Then again in the 12th grade. Then again this past week. I finished the book for the 4th time yesterday morning and sobbed like a baby while finishing it. I then realized there has been a pattern in my reading, and it's due to my grandpa. To most of my cousins and siblings I only ever heard him ask generic questions. However, he ALWAYS asks me what I've been reading and then intelligently discusses it with me. We talk about more than just plot. We talk about themes and morals and writing strategies. He made me love reading even more than I already did and realize that I wanted to do something with English as a career.

My grandpa was a chemical engineer. He didn't have to go through the extensive literary analysis classes that I do. He didn't have to pull his hair out looking for the elusive theme of a poem. He did it because he is constantly searching for higher meaning and deeper understanding of life.

When he lived in Washington we went up to visit him every summer. I can distinctly remember my mornings with him as an early riser. We'd wake up and pick blueberries from the bushes on the side of his house. We'd then travel inside and watch the news, focusing particularly on the Welch's "100 years old" feature while he made pancakes. "How about that?! 100 years old is a long time to live." I assumed he was pretty close to that already as a child and didn't know why he was so astounded by the thought of a centenarian.

I know this is kind of rambling and disjointed, but I just wanted to write down some of my memories of my grandpa and the impact he's had on me. He is one of the kindest, most sincere, dedicated people I've ever had the privilege to know. He seems to be infinitely patient, good natured, and has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm hoping he leaves the hospital in good health soon, but I know our time together is drawing to a close.

I love you, Grandpa. I hope heaven is an endless golf course with lemon drop stands at every hole.

A Nightmare I had this Evening OR Why the H I'm Awake at 3 in the Morning.

It is currently the middle of the night. 3:05 am to be exact. The last time I saw this time of the night was NEVER. I am such a baby in my sleep patterns; I usually fall asleep around 9:30 or 10 and wake up naturally between 6 and 7. It's nice. "But Katy," you may ask "what on earth could be causing you to be awake at such an unholy hour? And could you teach me how to do your eyeliner? It looks awesome!"

Firstly, I'll be glad to tell you how I do my eyeliner, thanks for noticing! And secondly, let me tell you about the kind of day I had on Tuesday and my ensuing horrific nightmare.

Tuesday was LONG. I spent almost 13 hours on campus. I had two presentations that did not go as well as I'd hoped, due to the unwillingness to participate that some of my group members had. I took a 45 minute break from campus when my lovely brother took me out to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. We loaded up on shitty food and I went back up to campus. When I got up to campus, I received the news that a girl I had known from Snow had died in a pretty bad car accident. I got all sorts of emotional just remembering how sweet she had been to me when we stayed with her and all the good things about her I had heard from my friend, Celeste. After that we had a meeting with some secondary ed advisers that just made me super anxious about the impending future and my career. I don't feel old enough to have a career. Bleh.

Okay. That was my day. Now here's a tiny bit of background information you'll need to understand this dream. Dani has a friend, Alexis. Alexis is the sweetest person you'll ever meet and I got the chance to become friends with her at Dani's bachelorette party and wedding. Her family is from Nevada so I've never met any of them, I just know that Alexis is this cute, tiny thing that would never hurt a fly. All right. Dream time.

SO. I dreamed that I was in Salt Lake for the weekend spending time with Dani and Jaxson when I received a text from my mom. The text read, "do you know a Mr. Gonzales?" I said I only knew of him and that he was Alexis' dad, and didn't receive a text back for several hours. I thought nothing of it and went about my day cavorting with Dani and Jaxson.

Several hours later I received a picture message from my mom. I opened it and saw a picture of my kitchen with knives stuck into every surface, blood seeping everywhere, and gauges littering the cabinets and countertops. The text read, "your friend's dad showed up at the house and did this to the kitchen to avenge the death of his daughter." I started hyperventilating and screaming and immediately called my mom. She then informed me that Mr. Gonzales had murdered my sister, my best friend, Liz.

I've never experienced such a feeling of dread and that cliched feeling of "my world collapsing around me," but that's what dream Katy felt. Vividly. Liz is my number 1 reason for living, so the news of her death made me unravel. I went into this stupor and drove home without knowing how I got there. I arrived home and my mom met me, but she wasn't sad at all. She just spoke very matter of factly about what had happened. Soon, the truth came out that MY MOTHER had murdered Alexis (I know she had a reason but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.) To avenge Alexis' death, Mr. Gonzales had come to try to murder me, but upon discovering that I was in Salt Lake, took my sister instead.

And then I woke up. Now I have to pee really bad but I'm terrified to get out of bed, and every time I hear a car go by outside I quake in fear.

Ready, interpret!

Sidebar:  My mom could never and would never murder anyone. She's too nice. And she doesn't have that kind of brute force.

Hi I'm Katy and I work at McDonald's

While I was at work on Saturday one of my old high school teachers came in. When I had his class, I sluffed A LOT. In fact, it's kind of well known that out of the 60 days in the trimester, I only went 8 times. He knew about it, but I did all the work and still received a good grade in his class. So when he came in to work the other day, we started chatting. For the purposes of this narrative I shall call him "Coach."

Me: Hey, Coach! How are you?
Coach: I'm good! How are you doing?
Me: I'm pretty good, thanks.
Coach: Ya know, I hate to rub it in, but I see you're still working at McDonald's, even though you worked there in high school. I guess your skipping class really caught up with you, didn't it? Not as successful as you thought you'd be.
Me: ....I'm 2 semesters away from graduating with my bachelors. I work here because it's paid for my schooling so far, it's incredibly flexible, and I work with some of my best friends. And I'm going into teaching and hope to be a teacher whose class my students actually want to attend...unlike some teachers I had.
Coach:  stutters and walks away with a very red face.

Yes, I still work at McDonald's. However, for the above listed reasons, I actually really love my job.  I'm also up for a pretty large scholarship award from the McDonald's corporation, and my store owner has given me fantastic references that have helped me get other jobs when I've been away.

I get a lot of crap from people about still working there. But it's a job on the pathway to my career, and I feel like I've been pretty successful in life so far.

So, no. I don't mind working at McDonald's. I actually am thankful for it and love it.

Am I Pitbull?

Last night I conducted a VERY formal and scientific study in which I texted approximately 20 people the question, "On a scale from 1-10 with 1 being an adorable puppy and 10 being a Tourette's-inflicted Steven Hawking-Hitler mashup, how easy am I to get along with?" The average response was 3. So I guess that's what? A cute pitbull? Pitbull himself? I'm asking cause I don't know.

The point is that I think I'm a pretty chill person to get along with. I don't really fight with people. I don't give a single crap what you do with your life as long as you're not being a jerk to someone else.

I like taking jokes too far, making up ridiculously far out what-if situations, and Costa Vida. I like learning, reading, Grey's Anatomy, and telling narrative stories that are exaggerated. I feel like if we can agree on at least one of these things, we can be friends.

So, people. GET OVER YOURSELVES. Stop taking everything so seriously. Stop getting angry about things you can't control. Stop freaking out about other people's actions when they don't concern or affect you. Just be friends with people. It'll be okay, guys.

This is my soapbox for this evening.

Also, here is my favorite facebook status of today, courtesy of Cat Gardner:

When someone asks you "what would Jesus do?" remind them that freaking out and flipping tables is a viable option.

That is all.

Awesome and Awkward

I've seen people on a few blogs doing "Awesome and Awkward" posts, and I feel as if that sums up most of my life pretty accurately. So I thought I'd try one out. Here's my list of awesome and awkward things for this week.

Awesome:
-Getting accepted into the teaching program.
-An offer to potentially move to Virginia for the summer.
-Skyping Dan and Jaxson :)
-Chloe and I eating chips and salsa until we burst. "If you're not getting salsa all over your boobs you're not living your life correctly."
-Chloe and I going to Beehive and talking about people we hate for 2 hours and talking about the pros and cons of a fishbowl drink vs. a regular size drink. Only one of is an alcoholic (Chloe).
-Reading and watching everything I can find about Tina Fey and fangirling over her by myself.

Awkward:
-Tripping up the stairs on the bus and loudly yelling "Jesus!" in front of a girl holding her scriptures on her lap.
-Timing a pregnancy test for a friend in a Walmart bathroom, all while said friend talked loudly about spawning a child, oblivious to the fact that there were other people in the bathroom.
-Spending 15 minutes uncomfortably driving around Clock Tower Plaza with above-mentioned friend looking for the Planned Parenthood.
-Almost hitting a darkly-clothed pedestrian in a cross-walk and Chloe thinking a cop was flipping a U-turn to come follow us.
-Subsequently parking in a stranger's driveway with our lights off for five minutes to evade capture.
-Having a man on the bus with his stomach hanging 8 inches over his pants stand directly in front of me.
-Driving home with Chloe after Chili's avoiding sharp turns and abrupt stops so we don't blow chunks.
-Sitting in my car reading in the middle of a field while waiting for a tow truck after I went off the road.
-Getting pulled over by douchebag cop for going around a corner "too cautiously."
-My visiting teachers coming to my work in the middle of lunch rush to deliver brownies and a card. They asked for Kathryn. It was uncomfortable.

I feel like I could write an individual blog post about every single item above, but I have neither the time nor motivation. Maybe the Wal-mart bathroom one at a later date, because it's pretty effing hilarious.
What I'm getting at is that life is pretty great lately, even though the "awkward" situations far outweigh the "awesome." :)

Non-numeric Equations

Equation part 1:  Except for a couple of years of late high-school and early college exploration, I have been blonde for most of my life. I was born blonde, and was a towheaded child until my senior year. I went dark for three years, and am back to being fairly light-haired again.

Equation part 2:  I am slightly neurotic in that I have to have things in a certain place and looking a certain way. I like my belongings to be neat and in a particular order. Anyone who has seen my closet, bookshelf, planner, or pencil bag can attest to this. It's normal.

Equation part 3:  I tend to put myself in situations where I get stressed. I take too many credits and try to work too many hours a week virtually every semester of my life. Around midterms and finals, the stress starts to take a physical toll. Namely, I get cankers on my tongue and my hair falls out. I know. Super attractive. Come at me boys.

Equation part 4:  Last year around Christmas I decided to redecorate my room. I now have a lovely black and white damask bedspread THAT SHOWS EVERY SINGLE FEATHER, PIECE OF LINT, OR SHED HAIR POSSIBLE. Particularly those towheaded hairs that fall out when I'm stressed.

Solution:  In order to combat this problem, I have invested in a tool that awes me every time I use it: the lint roller. Go ahead, make fun. I could seriously write a love letter to the lint roller for all the times it's made my room look clean. Lint rollers are a girl's best friend.

sitting in the dark, twiddling my thumbs

So here I am, sitting in the library.
I was making awesome progress on a particularly tough paper I've been writing when the library plunged into blackness. Since I can't actually read the book I'm trying to quote from, I figured this would be an excellent opportunity to blog.
Two things:
1) I am terrified of the dark. I hate it. I sleep with a light on most nights. I will not walk outside in the dark. My mind instantly just goes into overload and starts thinking of all of these terrible things coming out of of the darkness and murdering me. I even get panicked going from my front door to my car when it's dark outside.
2) While I am terrified of the dark and this is a somewhat sucky situation, I am REALLY glad that I have a laptop that I was working on instead of a school computer. I would have been furious if everything I've been working on got lost.

In other news, I've decided to participate in lent this year. Not because I have any sort of religious affiliation that makes me participate in it, but because I think it's kind of a good idea. It's always a good idea to do a self check and make sure you're still in control of things and life is going how you want.
Thus, I'm giving up alcohol, caffeine/soda, and fast food.
Alcohol will be a piece of cake. I've already gone through that time of my life when drinking was way fun and was all I ever wanted to do. Over it. I probably only drink once a month nowadays, if that. So this one won't be too hard.
Fast food won't be hard either, it's really just a matter of planning my days better. Since I work at McDonald's, I'll just have to get up slightly earlier to pack a lunch.
The real challenge here will be caffeine. I've been a regular coffee drinker for a while and a diet coke addict for a lot longer. Like...the amount of diet coke I go through in a day is embarrassing and ridiculous. So just to prove to myself that I can, I'm going without.
We'll see how it goes. I'll keep you updated :)

I suck at driving

Saturday morning I was supposed to work at 4 am. My alarm went off at 3:20 and I sprang out of bed. (Sprang is totally the right word because I am the greatest, happiest morning person you'll ever meet). So I sprang out of bed, got ready for work, and left my house at 3:40.

If you've never been to my house, we are on the top of a very steep hill, and all roads leading up to my neighborhood require you to go up a steep hill.  At the bottom of the steepest (but most convenient) hill, if you don't stay on the road you'll have a problem. You can either go careening down into the canyon, hit a massive oak tree, or plow into a concrete wall. So I'm driving down the road and I start to slip a little bit. "No big deal," thought I, "I'll just go really slow." I get to the end of the street and am still slipping, so I decide to turn around and go down one of the other, not-quite-as-steep hills.

As I'm turning around my car begins to go into death spirals, also known as 360 degree turns. I'm doing death spirals down this very steep hill and am FREAKING OUT. My hands on the wheel aren't doing anything, so I reach over and pull my seatbelt on. I come to a stop (practically in someone's front yard) in the middle of the hill. I turned my hazards on, called my papa, and just sat and took deep breaths.

While I was waiting for my dad to come save me, a car came around the corner and went up the hill. They clearly had superior tires and four wheel drive. One of the guys got out of his car and slid down the hill to mine. My first thought was "What on earth are these people doing out at quarter to four?!" Then I thought, "Wait. That's what I did my entire freshman year and I'm not a sketchy person. It'll be fine." He asked if I was okay, then asked if he could help. I explained that I didn't really know how to get down without dying.

He tried to push me out, but I just kept sliding sideways down the hill. Finally he said, "Look. I know I'm a stranger, but I'm really good at driving in the winter. Do you want me to drive your car down to the bottom?" Temporarily forgetting that my dad was on his way, I said yes. So he drove to the bottom of one of the hills. However, at the bottom of that hill IS ANOTHER HILL. I got to the car and he asked if I would be okay to go down the second, not-as-steep hill. I said probably, but he must have been dubious. He suggested that he could drive me to work and his friend who was waiting at the top of the hill could follow us and pick him up from work.  Here was my thought process:

"Well. I'm either going to die in a car accident on the way to work this morning or get ax murdered by this stranger. If I get ax murdered my friends will have a really cool thing to talk about for a long time. I'll let him drive me."

I agreed to his chivalrous proposal and he drove me the rest of the way to work. Didn't even mention axes.

So, random guy who lives on Summit Drive, thank you very much for driving me to work and not taking my life in the process!!

People can be great. :)

"Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions"-Will Smith, as quoted by Kim West :)

This idea has been on my mind a lot frequently. I try to be a good friend. I try really hard. If I consider you a good friend, I'll do as much as I can to help you out. And I'm tired of that not being reciprocated.

Don't get me wrong; it's not like I have some tally chart for each of my friends that says who owes more favors and what not. I don't. But when it gets so completely unbalanced, it gets wearying.

Thus, I'm stepping up my New Year's Resolution. I originally said something along the lines of "stop letting people you don't care about make you mad." But I think I'm ready for a route that's stepped up a little bit. I'm tired of being walked over. I'm tired of doing thing I hate doing to make another person happy. I'm definitely tired of feeling guilty on those occasions that I do turn those people down.

I'm also tired of associating with people who have no motivation or drive. We quickly run out of things to talk about when our lives are going in such opposite directions. I'm meeting all of these incredible people in the English program and I feel like I can't get close with them because I can't have too many good friends, or I can't give my new friends and my old friends equal time.

So. I'm done. :) I'm going to live for what makes me happy. If I can help someone out on the way, that's fantastic. I'm sure I'll be able to. However, I'm no longer going to sacrifice my feelings and my peace of mind to do so.

Call me selfish. Don't care. I think it's a necessary change that's been a long time coming.

Katy Anderson and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

It all started on New Year's Eve. Due to a series of unfortunate events, I chipped my front tooth. "No big deal," thought I. "I'll just go to the dentist and get it fixed. So that's what I did. Monday the 7th of January I got my tooth fixed, good as new.
Cut to Wednesday, January 9th. I'm in Kenzy's classroom taking some stuff off of her walls and I feel it. My tooth breaks AGAIN. No big deal. I'll just get it fixed again.
About an hour later I head home. I walk up to the front door to go inside and it's locked. As I'm walking back to the garage to go through the garage door, an icicle hanging from my roof breaks loose and nails me directly in the head. I was literally under the thing for half a second as I walked to the garage door opener. Just my luck.
Bad things happen in threes, right? Right. So I'm waiting on pins and needles for this third thing to happen. I'm convinced that my death is looming closer. It doesn't happen, it doesn't happen, I let my guard down.
So tonight, January 10th, I go to get in the bath, as per my New Year Resolution suggests. I have my book in my left hand at chest level, with my phone balanced on top of it. I step into the bath and trip a tiny bit, just enough to throw my balance off. My weight shifts, my phone slides across the cover of my book, and I quickly shift to keep my phone from plummeting to its watery, porcelain grave below. Long story somewhat short: I saved my phone from falling into the tub, but paper cut my chest in an incredibly painful place. Third bad thing complete.
Worst. New Year's Resolution. Ever.

New Year, New Resolutions

I probably should have written this yesterday, but I was super sick and had no motivation to do anything. Better late than never, right?
This year I have given myself five resolutions. To me, a resolution can either be considered something you want to become better at or something that will help you lead the type of life you want to lead. Thus, my five resolutions are:

• Stop letting people who don't matter to you make you angry; anger is a wasted emotion.
• Don't push yourself so hard; it's okay to take a break occasionally.
• Take more baths.
• Learn how to lose better.
• Hold more babies.

1: Stop letting people who don't matter to you make you angry.

My dad tells me all the time that anger is a wasted emotion. It's usually when I'm angry, so I just tell him to shut up or raise an eyebrow threateningly in his direction. But when I'm in a calmer state of mind I can see that he's completely right. I tend to let small things get under my skin, and they build and build until I am ready to LOSE IT. It's not a great quality. David already has my resolution perfected. He does not give a single shit about what anyone else has to say unless he wants their opinion. So I'm taking a leaf out of his book. If I don't care about someone enough to buy them a Christmas present or care to remember when their birthday is, or if they get hit by a train, why should I let their ideas and words make me angry? I shouldn't. 

2: Don't push yourself so hard.

I like to go and go and go and go and go until I'm sick in bed for three days, I can't talk, and my hair falls out. I just feel like I should constantly be doing more things and doing better at them. However, that's not the greatest plan of action for my mental or physical health. Thus, I've decided to take it easy on myself. I'm still taking 18 credits and working, but if something becomes too overwhelming, I may actually be willing to reevaluate things and see how I can change. That's the ultimate goal, anyway. Normally I just pull a "NO! I CAN DO THIS." And I really can't and I end up sick and further behind than if I had just started out in a reasonable manner.

3: Take more baths.

Baths are the single most calming things in the entire universe. I am a bath fanatic. I've been known to take upwards of 3 baths a day, several times a week. Nothing can better take my mind off of stress in my daily life than taking a bath and reading a book not related to schoolwork. Especially if it's an interesting book like a serial killer encyclopedia or a book about what happens to corpses (both have made excellent bathtub material in the past). 

4: Learn how to lose better.

This is not, as Kenzy thought when I first told her, about physically losing objects and not being able to find them again. That's counterproductive. This is relating to the fact that I am incredibly competitive and not a fun person to be around when I lose something, especially when I know I should have been able to win. I would really like to work on becoming a not-so-sore loser, and not beating myself up over my less-than-victories. We'll see how it goes, I think #4 is going to be the hardest for me.

5:  Hold more babies.

This is kind of along the same lines as number 3. Babies and little kids bring me so much joy and happiness and wonder and hope. They turn my usually very pessimistic world view upside down and make me feel so content. They're just this tiny, warm little human who is programmed to love anyone who holds and feeds them. What could be better than that? Especially when you can hand him or her back to the parents when fussiness or odor sets in.

So, there you have it. My five. What are some of your resolutions? I'd love to hear them :)