Every year certain phrases come into our usage, trendy little sayings that everyone seems to adopt. Some of them come for a season, get ultra annoying, and then flicker into nonexistence. For unexplained reasons, some of these vogue sayings stick around. And a percentage of these phrases should never have been popular in the first place. Please. Stop using them. End the cycle.
4. "You're fine."
When I worked at McDonald's, I constantly saw little kids run up to their parents crying, whether it was due to a perceived injustice or a stubbed toe. Some parents would cuddle them for a moment, kiss it better, and send them off to play again. Others would explain the situation to their child, trying to teach them empathy and understanding for their peers. The most common reaction I saw, though, is a parent simply saying "you're fine." It kills me every time! If someone comes to you in a moment of vulnerability and expresses their emotion, do not invalidate them by telling them they're fine or they'll get over it! I understand the reasoning behind the sentiment. I also understand that you don't want the people around you to constantly be expressing negative emotion, and that they need to be able to handle emotions themselves. But if someone comes to you and expresses that emotion, validate it. Don't just tell them that they're fine-that discounts everything they're feeling.
3. "Because I said so"
When I was in the 10th grade, I had a teacher who never gave us an explanation for anything we did-she always just told us "because I said so." It drove me CRAZY. Even though I was 15, I was a somewhat rational human being capable of thought, and I wanted a justification for the activity we were doing. I despised the phrase "because I said so." Now that I'm on the other end of that exchange and am teaching sophomores of my own, I can definitely understand wanting to pull the authority card. But I won't let myself do it. I think that people of all ages deserve explanations for what they're being asked to do. That explanation may vary depending on the age group you're addressing or the type of activity in which you're engaging.
2."So and so is just doing that for attention"
This explanation is something I hear frequently. "That girl is only doing what she's doing for attention." Frankly, I don't care what the behavior is, nor do I care if they are doing it for attention. In my mind, if someone is doing something for attention, they're lacking positive attention from the people who they most need and desire it. They may not have a good relationship with their parents, siblings, spouse, etc. Is that always the case? Probably not. But I'd rather take a minute and deal with the behavior than ignore it and make someone feel more unimportant than they already might.
1. Raped
Please. If you ignore the rest of this post, PLEASE stop using the term "rape" in a way that's synonymous with beating someone else, doing poorly on a test, or being busier than you imagined you would be. I can guarantee the feeling you get from failing a test does not compare to the feeling of someone who has experienced sexual assault. That test did not "rape" you. The test may have discouraged you, challenged you, or messed up your chances for an A in the class, but the test did not rape you.
Apologies if this comes off as preachy. For me, all of this boils down to being compassionate toward other people, something I'm trying to work on as well. We never know what situation someone is facing. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Let's try not to say things to others that may exacerbate a bad situation.
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