2014: A Review of Highlights and Lowlights

I know that everyone does this kind of a post at New Year's, just like everyone writes what they are thankful for at Thanksgiving. While the thankful posts kind of bother me, I LOVE reading end of year posts. There's something magical about taking stock of where you are and looking forward to what is to come. 

Without further ado-the highlights:

1) I'm a career woman

This is without question the most exciting thing that happened to me in 2014. It was the realization of 5 1\2 years of school. It was my biggest life goal, and it's been extremely satisfying to check it off my list of goals. I love this job. I love my students. I feel extremely grateful that I got hired. 

2) My colorguard

I know that a very small portion of people reading this have any idea how band and colorguard works, and you probably get sick of reading my posts about it during the season. Just know that this little team of mine came together and did astounding. They brought me so much joy, happiness, and pride in their abilities. I feel privileged to get to coach them, and it was easily one of the best things I got to experience.

3) I finished with USU

This is related to #1, so I won't write a lot about it. I graduated from Utah State, got an official degree, and somehow miraculously did so without student loans. I feel good about it.

4) I went back to church

Surprise! I've only talked to like 6 people about this. I'm happy, and it's deserving of the highlight list.

And now, the lowlights, because I think they're just as important to remember and document, even if it's only to use as a comparison for how far you've come. 

1) My sister moved away

I probably had a much harder time with this than I should have.  My adorable baby sister moved away to go to college, and it was ROUGH. She is an integral part of my life, and I despised not getting to see her every day.  We've mostly made up for that with a series of very child-like emojis that we send to each other frequently, but it's still a big adjustment. Having her home for the break has been a dream. 

2) I learned that being an adult comes with loss

Friendships grow apart, people close to you leave, and loved ones pass away. For some reason, up until this year, I'd been able to avoid all 3 of those pretty well. This year I got to face the reality that all of those exist, and they are painful to go through.

3) I faced the reality that I'm not (and can't possibly be) the best at everything.

I know that sounds stupid, but I hold myself to a pretty high standard in several aspects of life. I've always picked up on things fairly quickly, and I get frustrated when I have trouble with a concept. This year, I was thrown right into several situations with a pretty steep learning curve. These high expectations for myself left me feeling inadequate, unsure, and uncertain, and I had to learn how to deal with not being instantly good at something. It was painful. Luckily, I've had several mentors along the way reminding me to be gentle with myself, to be patient, and to learn to accept incremental progress. I'm very lucky I had these guiding lights in my path to help me through a variety of brand new experiences. 

2014 was astounding. I'm eager to see what 2015 holds and can't wait to see the growth that accompanies it. 

Happy New Year!

4 Things to Stop Saying in 2015

Every year certain phrases come into our usage, trendy little sayings that everyone seems to adopt. Some of them come for a season, get ultra annoying, and then flicker into nonexistence. For unexplained reasons, some of these vogue sayings stick around. And a percentage of these phrases should never have been popular in the first place. Please. Stop using them. End the cycle.

4. "You're fine."
When I worked at McDonald's, I constantly saw little kids run up to their parents crying, whether it was due to a perceived injustice or a stubbed toe. Some parents would cuddle them for a moment, kiss it better, and send them off to play again. Others would explain the situation to their child, trying to teach them empathy and understanding for their peers. The most common reaction I saw, though, is a parent simply saying "you're fine." It kills me every time! If someone comes to you in a moment of vulnerability and expresses their emotion, do not invalidate them by telling them they're fine or they'll get over it!  I understand the reasoning behind the sentiment. I also understand that you don't want the people around you to constantly be expressing negative emotion, and that they need to be able to handle emotions themselves. But if someone comes to you and expresses that emotion, validate it. Don't just tell them that they're fine-that discounts everything they're feeling.

3. "Because I said so"
When I was in the 10th grade, I had a teacher who never gave us an explanation for anything we did-she always just told us "because I said so." It drove me CRAZY. Even though I was 15, I was a somewhat rational human being capable of thought, and I wanted a justification for the activity we were doing. I despised the phrase "because I said so." Now that I'm on the other end of that exchange and am teaching sophomores of my own, I can definitely understand wanting to pull the authority card. But I won't let myself do it. I think that people of all ages deserve explanations for what they're being asked to do. That explanation may vary depending on the age group you're addressing or the type of activity in which you're engaging.

2."So and so is just doing that for attention"
This explanation is something I hear frequently. "That girl is only doing what she's doing for attention." Frankly, I don't care what the behavior is, nor do I care if they are doing it for attention. In my mind, if someone is doing something for attention, they're lacking positive attention from the people who they most need and desire it. They may not have a good relationship with their parents, siblings, spouse, etc. Is that always the case? Probably not.  But I'd rather take a minute and deal with the behavior than ignore it and make someone feel more unimportant than they already might.

1. Raped
Please. If you ignore the rest of this post, PLEASE stop using the term "rape" in a way that's synonymous with beating someone else, doing poorly on a test, or being busier than you imagined you would be. I can guarantee the feeling you get from failing a test does not compare to the feeling of someone who has experienced sexual assault. That test did not "rape" you. The test may have discouraged you, challenged you, or messed up your chances for an A in the class, but the test did not rape you.

Apologies if this comes off as preachy. For me, all of this boils down to being compassionate toward other people, something I'm trying to work on as well. We never know what situation someone is facing. We don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Let's try not to say things to others that may exacerbate a bad situation.