Without fail, every year I sustain an injury directly related to my face. Every. Year. For posterity, I've decided to chronicle them here, starting with the fateful tale of the alarm clock.
2007: Jake, David, and I are all sitting in my theater room at my house. The Simpsons Movie has just ended. Jake asks what time it is and as a response I gently lob a softball sized alarm clock to him so he can check himself. His reflexes kick in and he snatches the alarm clock out of the air and flings it back to me at warp speed, nailing me directly in the center of the forehead. Injuries sustained: swollen head and small cut.
2008: Longboarding. David, Cherisse, and I decide to longboard down Smithfield Canyon, a feat we've accomplished many times. Only this time, we decide to start higher up than we normally do, starting the ride at the top of a very steep hill. We get going pretty fast and then-the speed wobbles hit. To add insult to injury, while I was regaining my balance from the speed wobbles I hit a rock and went flying. Injuries sustained: Minor concussion, facial lacerations down the right side of my face.
2009: Car Crash. We're driving through Logan Canyon and our car goes off the road. BAM. Airbags go off leaving my friend Todd and I with lovely matching facial injuries Injuries sustained: rug burn from air bag fabric on chin and cheek.
2010: Freshman year of college. I have a particularly violent dream and fall out of bed, hitting my head on my bedside table on the way down. Here's the best part. The next morning I woke up late and went sprinting out the door to get to class on time without looking in the mirror. However, I did stop to talk to a few of my roommates. I'm walking to class and my friend Alli says, "Dude. You have a gash on your forehead and blood running into your eyebrow." Awesome. THANKS, ROOMMATES. Injuries sustained: gash on forehead above right eyebrow.
2011: Glowsticking. I had been watching a lot of videos on Youtube that had people at raves glowsticking, and I thought it looked awesome. I started spinning my lanyard around, trying to imitate them and hit myself directly in the cheek. My keys split my cheek open, but my CNA roommate was kind enough to doctor it up for me. Injuries sustained: cut down the side of my cheek.
2012: Car Door. I walked out to my car late at night one evening and was on the phone with David while I was walking. My car was parked in a weird part of the driveway and had some branches hanging over it. I went to swing open the door to my car when a branch brushed the back of my head. I'm already terrified of the dark so I was a little jumpy. I moved my head quickly out of the way of the branch and directly into the trajectory of the car door. Injuries sustained: swollen left eyebrow, small cut.
I look forward to what the next several years bring.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
In Which I Act the Responsible Adult While Shirking Responsibility
Captain's Log.
October 27th, 9:16 pm.
Rough seas ahead. I have 3 more papers to write, including a MONSTER in the form of analyzing Titus Andronicus. What will I be doing instead? Driving drunk friends around and laughing at them. It's for the greater good, right? It's a win-win situation. I get to have a good time and get everything off my mind, and I'm keeping the road safe from these drunken hooligans.
Is there some kind of an award for this type of selflessness?
I nominate myself.
October 27th, 9:16 pm.
Rough seas ahead. I have 3 more papers to write, including a MONSTER in the form of analyzing Titus Andronicus. What will I be doing instead? Driving drunk friends around and laughing at them. It's for the greater good, right? It's a win-win situation. I get to have a good time and get everything off my mind, and I'm keeping the road safe from these drunken hooligans.
Is there some kind of an award for this type of selflessness?
I nominate myself.
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Somebody get me a tent!
On Tuesdays I usually go to Summit Elementary and hang out in a fifth grade classroom full of kids I adore. They don't want me there. I just come. Ha. Actually, my friend is a teacher there and I get to help out occasionally and hang out with her while she teaches and just observe how her classroom runs.
However, today I decided I needed to do a catch-up day in the library, so I didn't get to see my little cuties. Sidebar: They're freaking adorable. They call me Miss Katy. One of them bought me a bookmark. They always tell me they like my hair. Guh. They're the greatest.
Back to the original story. I skipped fifth grade today and went up to the library at 8. I then spent the subsequent SEVEN HOURS doing homework. I used up not only mine, but Colton's and Chris's study room reservation time. Plus some freeloading in a room when I thought no one was going to come. I feel incredibly productive. That seven hours was difficult, but I rewarded myself with hourly instagram checks, half-hourly facebook checks, and a bagel at lunch. Yeah, I know. Pretty bleak. BUT. I wrote a pretty good paper, read and wrote a study guide for 4 chapters of my natural disasters class, caught up on almost all the reading for my other three lit classes, and memorized the words to Billy Joel's River of Dreams. Feeling pretty good about it.
On the drive home I started thinking about how productive I could be if I started spending EVERY Tuesday in the library. Novel idea, right? It's only my fourth year of college. Don't worry that Corey just had to show me how to check out a book 3 weeks ago.
Thus, I'm making a goal to spend more time in the library actually doing legitimate work. This is big. I'll keep you updated. Maybe I'll like it so much I'll move in. then I could cross "couch-surf for a month" off my bucket list. It's the same thing, right?
However, today I decided I needed to do a catch-up day in the library, so I didn't get to see my little cuties. Sidebar: They're freaking adorable. They call me Miss Katy. One of them bought me a bookmark. They always tell me they like my hair. Guh. They're the greatest.
Back to the original story. I skipped fifth grade today and went up to the library at 8. I then spent the subsequent SEVEN HOURS doing homework. I used up not only mine, but Colton's and Chris's study room reservation time. Plus some freeloading in a room when I thought no one was going to come. I feel incredibly productive. That seven hours was difficult, but I rewarded myself with hourly instagram checks, half-hourly facebook checks, and a bagel at lunch. Yeah, I know. Pretty bleak. BUT. I wrote a pretty good paper, read and wrote a study guide for 4 chapters of my natural disasters class, caught up on almost all the reading for my other three lit classes, and memorized the words to Billy Joel's River of Dreams. Feeling pretty good about it.
On the drive home I started thinking about how productive I could be if I started spending EVERY Tuesday in the library. Novel idea, right? It's only my fourth year of college. Don't worry that Corey just had to show me how to check out a book 3 weeks ago.
Thus, I'm making a goal to spend more time in the library actually doing legitimate work. This is big. I'll keep you updated. Maybe I'll like it so much I'll move in. then I could cross "couch-surf for a month" off my bucket list. It's the same thing, right?
Sunday, October 21, 2012
Catch All
This summer was super busy for me so I didn't have a lot of time to blog. Right now I'm definitely putting off writing several papers, so I figured it was the perfect time to do a catch up post!
First things first. I turned 21!! My friends took me to the owl for dinner and then to Texas Roadhouse for drinks. I rode the saddle, got sang to, and all around had a lovely evening.
We went to San Francisco for our family vacation. I think I already blogged about this. Yep. See here if you're interested! We went to Ghirardelli square, another aquarium, spent some time on the wharf, walked across the golden gate bridge, rode a cable car and went to a GIANTS game. It was the highlight of my trip for sure.
We had an Anderson side family reunion in July. We went to Midway and stayed in this cute little Swedish village. We swam in the crater, hung out with family, went boating, went to our favorite restaurant Dairy Keen, had a bunch of ridiculous competitions, played a ton of games and got to spend time with my cousins and all their cute babies.
Other things:
First things first. I turned 21!! My friends took me to the owl for dinner and then to Texas Roadhouse for drinks. I rode the saddle, got sang to, and all around had a lovely evening.
We went to San Francisco for our family vacation. I think I already blogged about this. Yep. See here if you're interested! We went to Ghirardelli square, another aquarium, spent some time on the wharf, walked across the golden gate bridge, rode a cable car and went to a GIANTS game. It was the highlight of my trip for sure.
We had an Anderson side family reunion in July. We went to Midway and stayed in this cute little Swedish village. We swam in the crater, hung out with family, went boating, went to our favorite restaurant Dairy Keen, had a bunch of ridiculous competitions, played a ton of games and got to spend time with my cousins and all their cute babies.
Other things:
We had this massive water slide set up in my yard for a work party.
Dani, Brooke, and Tim came up and took me to my first rodeo.
Me and Noelle decorated for Shaylie's bachelorette party. LOOK at that banner!
I got to spend some quality drinking and shopping time with these ladies.
We had a joint celebration of birthdays for me, Janelle, and Carlie
Cupcakes are super difficult to move in cars.
Me and Noelle planned this wonderful and incredibly fun scavenger hunt.
I spent some quality time with Texas and David.
Bear lake with the girls.
These are more pictures of Dani's baby shower. This was some of the food.
The diaper cake I made.
Sage, Amanda, me, Dani
Sage and me, the masterminds of this baby shower.
the end result.
I rode a horse for the first time!!
It was such a fun summer, one that I won't soon forget even though it was super busy.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Jaxson Craig Schaumkel :)
My best friend had her baby at 9:18 this morning, which means I'm officially an AUNT!!
Dani's water broke at 4 this morning, so they went into the hospital.
She started getting contractions about 2-3 minutes apart.
She had an epidural at 7, which was when I woke up and left for Riverton.
I got to the hospital at nine and waited with her family for a bit.
Dani started pushing and just 3 pushes later out came Jaxson!
I cannot even describe how in love with this little boy I am.
Born Friday, October 19th (my lucky number!!), 7 pounds 3 ounces, 19 inches long.
He's not even technically related to me and I find myself bragging about how great he is to people.
Like, "oh, he scored a 9 on the apgar scale," and "he took STRAIGHT to breastfeeding."
I'm in love.
Welcome to the world, baby J.
Love, Aunt Katy
The new family
Family plus me :)
Perfect tiny fingers
Dani was a champ.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
it's raining babies
I'm making a goal to write in this blog more, even if no one reads it. So here goes :)
This weekend I threw a baby shower. And it was AWESOME. Sage, Brooke, and I went to Walmart Friday night and bought a bunch of stuff for it. We definitely wandered around for like an hour and a half looking for everything, but it worked out.
So. Saturday morning comes. Sage comes over at nine and we start to prepare things while Dani so graciously makes us pancakes. I chop celery LIKE A PRO and they all end up in beautifully sliced and perfectly sized celery sticks. Then I attempt carrots. First cut into the carrot-BAM. There goes my left pointer finger. Not literally. I just nicked it. After I get all cleaned up, we finish chopping and set everything out.
For the fruit we decided to do fruit skewers instead of having a big bowl with everything combined. Why? Because when you have a big bowl with everything combined everyone takes the strawberries and pineapple first and then you're left with a bowl of old grapes. So I pick up the first skewer with a clear picture of how this is going to go: It's going to slide gracefully on and look artistic when the rest of the fruit is on. I pick up a chunk of pineapple and impale it with the end of the stick. It gets stuck. I push harder and instead of gracefully sliding on like I envisioned, the top of the stick splintered, stabbing me in the right pointer finger.
So far, baby shower 2, Katy 0. Tim decides to play the man and comes over to get this freaking long splinter out of my finger. I hold my breath and look away. "oh. oh. i almost. shit. yeah i just broke the end off." This is what I hear. I look at my finger and, indeed, he just broke the end off. There's still a quarter inch of wood inside my finger. Sage came to my rescue and pulled out some tweezers and got the rest out, but not without shooting some scathing comments to Tim about how inadequate he'll be as a father.
We finished prepping and people started arriving. Everyone pigged out (seriously, the before and after pictures of the food table are ridiculous) and then we started games. The girls all had to guess the kind of baby food for one game. Another had to guess how big around Dani's belly was. The next Brooke and I teamed up to win the three-armed diaper races. We did it tournament style, and won multiple rounds to claim our prize, narrowly beating out Amanda and her partner after we had just tied.
I just like winning, so I was all over that.
It lasted a couple hours and ended up being super fun.
I'll write about the rest of the weekend tomorrow night. :)
This weekend I threw a baby shower. And it was AWESOME. Sage, Brooke, and I went to Walmart Friday night and bought a bunch of stuff for it. We definitely wandered around for like an hour and a half looking for everything, but it worked out.
So. Saturday morning comes. Sage comes over at nine and we start to prepare things while Dani so graciously makes us pancakes. I chop celery LIKE A PRO and they all end up in beautifully sliced and perfectly sized celery sticks. Then I attempt carrots. First cut into the carrot-BAM. There goes my left pointer finger. Not literally. I just nicked it. After I get all cleaned up, we finish chopping and set everything out.
For the fruit we decided to do fruit skewers instead of having a big bowl with everything combined. Why? Because when you have a big bowl with everything combined everyone takes the strawberries and pineapple first and then you're left with a bowl of old grapes. So I pick up the first skewer with a clear picture of how this is going to go: It's going to slide gracefully on and look artistic when the rest of the fruit is on. I pick up a chunk of pineapple and impale it with the end of the stick. It gets stuck. I push harder and instead of gracefully sliding on like I envisioned, the top of the stick splintered, stabbing me in the right pointer finger.
So far, baby shower 2, Katy 0. Tim decides to play the man and comes over to get this freaking long splinter out of my finger. I hold my breath and look away. "oh. oh. i almost. shit. yeah i just broke the end off." This is what I hear. I look at my finger and, indeed, he just broke the end off. There's still a quarter inch of wood inside my finger. Sage came to my rescue and pulled out some tweezers and got the rest out, but not without shooting some scathing comments to Tim about how inadequate he'll be as a father.
We finished prepping and people started arriving. Everyone pigged out (seriously, the before and after pictures of the food table are ridiculous) and then we started games. The girls all had to guess the kind of baby food for one game. Another had to guess how big around Dani's belly was. The next Brooke and I teamed up to win the three-armed diaper races. We did it tournament style, and won multiple rounds to claim our prize, narrowly beating out Amanda and her partner after we had just tied.
I just like winning, so I was all over that.
It lasted a couple hours and ended up being super fun.
I'll write about the rest of the weekend tomorrow night. :)
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