loss

Tonight, i watched the movie Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close with my sister. It's about a boy who loses his father on 9/11, and goes on a "quest" to try and find out more about him. And it just got me thinking. Life is so fragile. One day you can be walking around, healthy as can be. And all of that can change in an instant.

I had a dream last night that David died. I didn't dream how, but I dreamed about the phone call informing me of it. And of his funeral. I woke up sobbing. And the thing that hit me the most was that it could actually happen. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and that includes a tomorrow.

I don't know what I would do if he or Liz died. And now it's just been on my mind. I feel like I can't adequately express how much I love both of them. I tell Liz 10+ times a day that I love her, and i still feel like it's not enough. she means the world to me, and i could never get along without her. i can start crying just thinking about my life without her. ugh.

anyway. i feel very scattered and not well put together lately, so i apologize for the sporadic thought process here.