Things I Love

My guard girls had a competition in Provo last night, and we did not get home until extremely late. This morning, I had a class at 7:00 that I had to attend, so I had to wake up at 5:30. Although I downed a giant mocha, I had to keep physically moving in order to stay awake. Because I was confined in a desk, my staying-awake strategy was to write a list of things that I love. It's a great list. Here it is:

I love that upbeat classic rock is always playing when I walk into my 7:00 class.
I love that I have a 7:00 class and 7:30 class (most days).
I love that I'm getting paid to help with guard and hang out in the sun.
I love Taco Tuesday and watching So You Think You Can Dance with Jessey.
I love my Huffington Post app.
I love People magazine and doing the People magazine crossword.
I love that I get to read Ender's Game for a class.
I love binge-watching TV shows with my sister when we both happen to be at home.
I love working with Kellee, David, Chloe, and many others.
I love piercing people's ears.
I love skyping with Dani, Jaxson, and Tim.
I love that Dani, Jaxson, Tim, and Robyn came to BYU to watch my girls and to see me last night.
I love that Jaxson has learned to follow social cues, screaming when the crowd screams and shushing people when the crows calmed down.
I love phone calls with Texas, and listening to her life for half an hour before I get to talk.
I love working on Sundays, and the people I get to work with on Sundays.
I love that my body likes to fall asleep at 9 pm.
I love falling asleep in the bath tub.
I love jalapeno bagels and chai from the library cafe.
I love Tina Fey. Still, and always.
I love Billy Joel. Still, and always.
I love holding babies and buying baby clothes.
I love bargain shopping with my mom.
I love falling asleep watching golf with my dad, and staying wide awake watching baseball.
I love using my label maker.
I love getting books for Jaxson, and I love that he loves books.
I love watching vines.
I love that all-red packages of Starbursts and all flavors of Hi-Chews.
I love analyzing people's personalities with the color code.
I love going to my educational psych class.
And if you're reading this, I probably like you, too.

Balance

This post formed up in my head while driving today. The road is going to be curvy and winding and weird, but I promise I'll get to the point. :)

While driving to a parade with Launa, a lovely lady on band staff with me, the conversation turned to Billy Joel. I know. Typical. I was doing my regular fan girl gushing over him and Launa asked me about my favorite song of his. I named a few that I really liked, but the question prompted me to listen to my entire Billy Joel collection over the last few days in order to get a concrete answer. The votes are in. This is my favorite song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BGbeDb5VIk

I promise this isn't just going to be an ode to Billy Joel. I've already done that on this blog. But this song is so incredibly applicable to my life, more so than any other song I've heard.

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight...
Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong, you know

You can't always see when you're right...you're right

As does the fictional character in the song, I keep busy. I want to be successful and I know to do that I have to work hard. I like being busy. But I have the tendency to burn myself out. I put too much of myself into school and work and don't leave time for my relationships with friends and family, which are very important to me. For example, two semesters ago I left McDonald's for a short period of time and went to work at a call center. I didn't hold crazy hours, and the pay was a little bit higher when I was doing well, but I hated it. I even had a little more free time than I used to have. But the relationships weren't there for me. I didn't care about anyone I worked with, so I felt stressed all the time.

This semester, I've figured it out. This is, without a doubt, the busiest I have ever been. Several days of the week, I'm only home for a half hour period from 6 am to midnight. But I'm happier this semester than I've ever been. The solution:  One of my new jobs is coaching colorguard. In order to do this, I've had to cut back a few hours on each of my other jobs. But the payout (emotionally, not financially) I get from coaching is huge. I get to build relationships with my girls. I get to see them succeed. I get to see their "aha" moments and I get to see the pride in their face when they nail a move they've been struggling with. I get to see the thrill of performing on their faces and their absolute excitement and joy when they win. It's so affirming and validating knowing that I, in a small way, get to help them with this. 

This is the key. Not only is this job keeping me from totally losing it due to stress this semester, it's letting me know that my chosen profession is PERFECT for me. I'll get to see these same things when I teach, although they won't be on a field under the lights. I'm thriving in this situation, getting these girls from the beginning where many of them knew nothing, to the end where they're successful. I'm so stoked to finish school and start teaching, and to hopefully continue coaching for a while. I feel so fortunate to get to be with these girls every day. 

Positively Providential

Life has been so hectic lately, and I apologize to my (very few) faithful blog readers for my lack of posts. Rather than writing a series of detailed posts about my day-to-day life, I'm choosing for now just to write a list of events that are going on and things that are making me happy.

I was tossing solid sixes with one of my rifle girls the other day-I've still got it.
I get to see my two best friends and nephew in two weeks when they come up for a visit.
My colorguard girls are incredible and I'm already growing so very attached to them.
I am lucky enough to get to coach with one of my best friends by my side.
I realize every day how fortunate I am that my job is so flexible and that they take such good care of me.
I passed my kidney stone this morning. Don't care if this is too much information, I am EXTREMELY happy about it.
I am completely thrilled for school to start in two weeks.
My scholarship checks both came through so my semester is totally paid for.
I took 4 baths and read an entire book today, and I caught up on laundry and cleaning.
I'm learning Italian and don't feel like I am completely terrible at it so far.
My store's grand reopening is this weekend!!

I'm overall very pleased with where my life is headed and where it is right now. There's nothing like writing down the positives in your life to make you realize how truly fortunate you are. I feel very lucky to be who I am, to be where I am, and to know the people I know :)

This Is Robyn:

Robyn was one of my roommates during my second year at Snow. She has been on a mission on the east coast and is FINALLY coming home. In 4 days, I'll get to see this beauty for the first time in what seems like forever.
Robyn is the glue of every relationship she's in. When I met her, I thought she was going to be super high maintenance, but she's pretty much the opposite. She's that person who changes into sweats the second she gets home. She eats large amounts of food and candy. She is gracious. She loves Tina Fey and 30 Rock.  She is hardworking and dedicated to whatever she is doing at the time. She is supportive. She's driven. She is one of the friendliest, most outgoing people I've ever met.
I am so stoked to see her again.

She came with us to get our tattoos

She likes to act like a G.

She makes uncomfortable social situations okay.

She's not afraid to look like an idiot if it means she's having a good time.

She loves wildlife.

She makes great airport welcome home signs.

Clarity

I am a worrier. I don't mean that I worry in the sense that I concern myself with little things. I mean worry in the sense that if I don't do everything in exactly the right order and exactly the right time period with the exact desired results, I will end up homeless living under a freeway overpass and begging truckers for the remains of their bags of Fritos in order to survive.

I'm just about to enter my teaching program, and as I've started the preparation I've become so preoccupied with all of the things that are coming up: The Praxis, practicums, student teaching, paperwork, choosing a school district to teach in, preparing lesson plans, building a professional wardrobe, and other anxieties about my chosen profession. This type of thinking has been my modus operandi for as long as I can remember.

However, there comes a time and place when you must push everything aside, take a deep breath, and realize that everything will work out. For me, it was when I had a beer with my 7th grade science teacher at The Owl tonight. We began talking about teaching (much to the chagrin of our companions, I'm sure) and  I felt very calm about the whole thing. Something came over me that just brought me to the realization that things will work out. They may not work out on the exact timeline that I had planned or in the order that is typically expected, but something will work out. I have no idea what particular details of the night made my brain rearrange its thought process, but I am so glad it happened.

This brief moment of intense clarity was exactly what I needed. I don't feel as dumb about not graduating on time as I did this morning. I don't care that my chosen future career is sometimes looked down upon. I'm trying really hard not to care that I may not be the best at everything I do--these things take time--but it's coming.

I'm content and confident.

:)

I Believe

Living in a culture where the majority of people around you have a clear cut set of beliefs can be interesting. When people around you find out you don't share their beliefs, they tend to react one of four ways: They can try to convert you, they choose to no longer associate with you, they assume ambivalence, or they try to get to know more about your beliefs. Lately I've been getting a lot of questions from friends old and new about what I believe in. It's true; I don't have a clear cut set of beliefs. I don't subscribe to any particular religion or guided way of life. This isn't to say that I think religion is bad. I just think it serves a purpose in some people's lives that may not be needed in the lives of others.

I thought I'd write an "I Believe" post to show that, while I do have morals, opinions, and a dos and don'ts list, I'm kind of making it up as I go and doing what I feel is best for the situation I'm in and for the people around me.

I believe that, when the opportunity arises, you should always help people. Even if the act seems small, I think it can turn a person's day around. This spans from holding a door open for a stranger to helping a classmate study for a test to helping a friend move to being available to talk when a friend has a problem. You'll never regret helping someone out.

I believe in the idea of "what goes around comes around." I think if you help people as often as you can, you'll receive help when you're in need. I think too often people expect to receive help when they are unwilling to do the same for other people.

I believe in working hard. I've had a job since I was 15. I work to get the grades I want and to accomplish the goals I've set for myself both at work and school. I don't understand the idea of people showing up to work and just standing around. I believe people should earn what they receive.

I believe in being honest. I used to have a problem with exaggerating. I'd tell stories and exaggerate them into these phenomenal epics until they barely resembled the actual event. I made a conscious decision to stop doing this and to be straight forward and even blunt with people, and it's worked out so much better for me.

I believe in putting relationships first. I think family and friends should be the first and second most important priorities in your life. There's nothing wrong with trying new things and moving away and working hard, but if you ignore your relationships they'll quickly dwindle and may not always still be there when you get back. I believe that relationships take time and effort from both parties.

I believe that people should be allowed to make their own choices unless they infringe on someone else's personal space, safety, or happiness. To this effect, I don't think drinking is wrong unless you put yourself in the situation to hurt someone while you're doing it. I don't think swearing is wrong unless the words are being used abusively towards someone or the words make someone in the conversation uncomfortable. I don't see anything wrong with having tattoos or extra piercings or unnatural hair colors or wearing two piece swimsuits and tank tops.

I believe in a god, although I don't think he or she has as much to do with our day-to-day lives as we often think. I came across this quote in an Ellen Hopkins book some time ago and it has stayed with me ever since. "God is love. And he respects love, whether it's between a parents and child, a man and woman [a man and a man, a woman and a woman], or friends. I don't think he cares about religion one little bit. Live your life right. Love with all your heart. Don't hurt others, and help those in need. That is all you need to know. And don't worry about heaven. If it exists, you'll be welcome."

I hope this clears things up for those of you who have asked me questions. I hope I've written something that you can ponder upon and maybe strikes a chord. Or maybe you think I've written a load of garbage and you want to stick to your own beliefs. That's fine too. I think the most important thing about this post is that ultimately, it's actions that matter more than beliefs.

21 Reasons My Best Friend is Better Than Your Best Friend (yes, this is a competition)

1) Dani can dance like there's no tomorrow.
2) I've never seen a human being alive with more love for babies and little kids than Dani.
3) I admire how persevering and strong Dani is. She keeps trucking on, even when things are tough.
4) Dani gives PHENOMENAL advice. She is always level headed and her opinion matters more to me than anyone else.
5) She can cook pancakes like nobody's business.
6) She is a fantastic mother and wife.
7) She lets me organize her belongings.
8) Dani isn't afraid to look stupid. She'll sing her heart out and dance like crazy if it means she and the people around her are having a good time.
9) She reaches out to people. She was the one who initiated our friendship, for which I am eternally grateful.
10) She lets me vent to her at any time of the day or night.
11) She is willing to try anything once.
12) She'll watch stupid youtube videos with me for hours on end.
13) Dani is reliable. She is always available when I need to talk to her and she keeps her promises. Always.
14) Dani is the least judgmental person I've ever met. You could tell her you just murdered a pregnant Mother Teresa and she wouldn't judge you.
15) She drops everything and watches Grey's Anatomy with me every time we feel the desire.
16) She's seen me at my gross, sweaty, braless worst and still loves me.
17) She is loyal to a fault. She would never consider breaking a promise or betraying anyone in any way.
18) She has a great relationship with her family and friends.
19) Her laugh and smile are contagious; you can't help but laugh when she's laughing.
20) She has an incredible ability to memorize song lyrics-this is important because when we're singing along to songs in the car she can do all of the fast rap parts.
21) She knows literally everything about me. She knows the good, bad, and the ugly, and still she stays around.

How lucky am I?

Happy 21st, Danyelle. I hope you have many more prosperous years; know that I will be here for all of them.

Love, Katy