Not gonna lie, this was a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. I kept thinking of stupid little things like, "I'm independent," or "I can be optimistic." But those weren't working out.
The thing that I love most about myself is that I Am Me.
When I was younger I found it a constant struggle to be myself. First grade, I got the same set of colored pencils as Kylee Webb, because everyone liked her. Second grade, I wore overalls to school every day, because Mary Bowen did too.
Third grade I was the class genius, because I wanted to beat Jill Stapely.
Fourth grade I did everything Britney Hoffman did.
Fifth grade I bought the same jeans as Mckenna Lewis, because she was the coolest girl in our grade.
Sixth and seventh grade I followed Audrey Jardine around like a puppy, because I didn't know who to be. I was in choir and a school play because she was in both of them.
Eighth grade I wanted to be funny and cool like Katelyn Koford and Melissa Huber.
Ninth grade I was helpless without Jenna Knight and Emily Blake.
Tenth grade was when I finally learned to stop. Stop being a clone of someone else. Stop trying to be someone I'm not. Stop acting like a bitch because that's how my friend of the week acted.
Just stop.
It was then that I formed my own persona, and now, I am generally one hundred percent comfortable with myself. I'll wear sweats to class with no make-up, while my roommates will wake up hours early to prepare.
My mouth lacks a filter, which can sometimes get me in trouble, but overall makes me genuine.
I do what I like to do-Not because someone else likes to do it.
I have my own extremely strong opinions-no one's going to change that.
I Am Me. And I am Okay.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Something I Hate About Myself--Day 1
So, I'm doing this challenge called 30 days of truth. It gives you a topic a day to write about, and is supposed to be quite enlightening. You're never supposed to write about the first thing you think of; the second or third thing in line is usually much more meaningful.
I have played almost every sport in the book. I've done any activity you can think of. I've taken a variety of classes. But in every single one of these things I just float by. I can be trying my very hardest, but still end up just being average. I'm 101 in a class of 412, 2nd or 3rd place in every debate I've ever done. I'm that person who never gets promoted, who tries and always succeeds, but someone else succeeds faster or higher up than.
There always seems to be someone better than me out there. Always.
Debate: Dixon and Justin
Rifle: Shelby
Softball: Kenzie
Racquetball: Brittany
Basketball: Dani
Volleyball: Liz
Intelligence: David
The list goes on and on. Someone is always better than me. I've never been the person to save the day for my team, or come in first. That's what I hate the most about myself. I'm not extraordinary in anything; just ordinary.
I have played almost every sport in the book. I've done any activity you can think of. I've taken a variety of classes. But in every single one of these things I just float by. I can be trying my very hardest, but still end up just being average. I'm 101 in a class of 412, 2nd or 3rd place in every debate I've ever done. I'm that person who never gets promoted, who tries and always succeeds, but someone else succeeds faster or higher up than.
There always seems to be someone better than me out there. Always.
Debate: Dixon and Justin
Rifle: Shelby
Softball: Kenzie
Racquetball: Brittany
Basketball: Dani
Volleyball: Liz
Intelligence: David
The list goes on and on. Someone is always better than me. I've never been the person to save the day for my team, or come in first. That's what I hate the most about myself. I'm not extraordinary in anything; just ordinary.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Post In Which I Eat My Words
So, I know I'm long overdue for a post. And a whole lot has happened since I posted last. Firstly. I GOT A TATTOOOOOOO! I am completely in love with it. Here is a picture:
It's for TWLOHA. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I seriously was almost crying before it even started I was so scared. It took about an hour to do, and didn't actually hurt that bad, except for when it hit bone. He said I bled a lot though, which kind of freaked me out. Now it just feels like a sunburn, and it's kind of scabby and nappy, but that should go away soon :) I told my dad. And I think he is going to tell my Mom. But he was going to wait until after I left town. Smart man, he is. Oh and my sister knows as well.
I might actually fail out of school. Seriously. My classes this semester are incredibly hard. I don't know how i'm gonna pull this off. I took a biology test today, and am hoping for a 50% on it. That's how bad it went.
So, the eat my words part of this post:
I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. Yup.
Miss Karlee Brown turned out to practically be my twin.
We both HATE feet, LOVE cholula, and sleep on the opposite end of the bed among other things.
Dani:
dani is pretty chill. she parties. and i just really love her :)
brittany:
she and I have different interests, so sometimes it's kind of hard to understand her. Like she does horse shows and stuff that I know nothing about. But she's generally isnanely nice and fun to be with :)
Aaaand Morgan:
She generally is really sweet, truthfully.
We have a lot more in common than I orginally thought.
So yes. I made some pre-judgements. But you've gotta remember, everyone starts out at hate status with me. EVERYONE. There is no exception. And most of my roommates have gotten way out of hate status. Which is good :) They're a lot of fun and generally are really chill. I'm not super close to any of them, but I'm comfortable with all of them.
It's for TWLOHA. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I seriously was almost crying before it even started I was so scared. It took about an hour to do, and didn't actually hurt that bad, except for when it hit bone. He said I bled a lot though, which kind of freaked me out. Now it just feels like a sunburn, and it's kind of scabby and nappy, but that should go away soon :) I told my dad. And I think he is going to tell my Mom. But he was going to wait until after I left town. Smart man, he is. Oh and my sister knows as well.
I might actually fail out of school. Seriously. My classes this semester are incredibly hard. I don't know how i'm gonna pull this off. I took a biology test today, and am hoping for a 50% on it. That's how bad it went.
So, the eat my words part of this post:
I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. Yup.
Miss Karlee Brown turned out to practically be my twin.
We both HATE feet, LOVE cholula, and sleep on the opposite end of the bed among other things.
Dani:
dani is pretty chill. she parties. and i just really love her :)
brittany:
she and I have different interests, so sometimes it's kind of hard to understand her. Like she does horse shows and stuff that I know nothing about. But she's generally isnanely nice and fun to be with :)
Aaaand Morgan:
She generally is really sweet, truthfully.
We have a lot more in common than I orginally thought.
So yes. I made some pre-judgements. But you've gotta remember, everyone starts out at hate status with me. EVERYONE. There is no exception. And most of my roommates have gotten way out of hate status. Which is good :) They're a lot of fun and generally are really chill. I'm not super close to any of them, but I'm comfortable with all of them.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
New and Improved
So I finally got my schedule all worked out. I'm annoyed I had to change it in the first place, but it's good now. I was originally taking softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, music, government, and english. Katherine was going to help me with Music 1010, and I was going to help her with government. She just up and decided yesterday to quit music 1010 without telling me, leaving me totally screwed over. that class is HARD. There's no way I could pass it. I don't actually have to take government; I got those credits out of the way in high school. I considered dropping government and letting Katherine deal with it on her own, which seemed like a good idea. Instead, for once in my life, I took the higher, less vindictive road, and stayed enrolled in the class.
Frustrating, yes. My new schedule: softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, government and english! Yes! the cute counselor in the career center switched my credit hours up so I still have enough for my scholarship without music. She just transferred me to a different fit for life class that will allow me to have the same number of credit hours as before! It's a wonderful thing. that took a huge load off my shoulders, and should free up a lot of time now, so I shouldn't be nearly as stressed as I was. Hopefully.
Also, I was going to go into more detail about Dani here. I was kind of vague last time because I was super tired. But right now I'm in that awkward stage where you've stayed awake past the point where you're supposed to fall asleep...so you can't fall asleep anymore. If that even makes sense. So. Dani We have almost exactly the same opinion on religion and life in general. It is so crazy. We only found out about all of these likenesses the other day but I already feel incredibly close and able to confide in her. It's a good thing to be living with someone like her :)
Frustrating, yes. My new schedule: softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, government and english! Yes! the cute counselor in the career center switched my credit hours up so I still have enough for my scholarship without music. She just transferred me to a different fit for life class that will allow me to have the same number of credit hours as before! It's a wonderful thing. that took a huge load off my shoulders, and should free up a lot of time now, so I shouldn't be nearly as stressed as I was. Hopefully.
Also, I was going to go into more detail about Dani here. I was kind of vague last time because I was super tired. But right now I'm in that awkward stage where you've stayed awake past the point where you're supposed to fall asleep...so you can't fall asleep anymore. If that even makes sense. So. Dani We have almost exactly the same opinion on religion and life in general. It is so crazy. We only found out about all of these likenesses the other day but I already feel incredibly close and able to confide in her. It's a good thing to be living with someone like her :)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Campus Cowboys
The following is a completely true story about David, Texas, and my adventure from the other night. Enjoy. :)
On the night of Monday, August 9, 2010, David, Texas and I decided we were going to go longboarding. This is a pretty regular occurrence; we go probably at least once a week up on campus.
We started out in the spectrum parking lot just messing around there for a while. Then we went up by the stairs on the east side of that parking lot and took some pictures. We decided we were going to do a loop around campus like we normally do, but first took a pit stop at the statue of the bull.
David immediately decided he wanted to get on it, and fake becoming an ultimate aggie, meaning he would just take his shirt off and ride side saddle so it looked like he was naked. So he's up on this bull, pretending to ride it, and Texas is about to get on.
Now, if you know Utah State's campus, you know that the statue of the bull is incredibly well lit. It's also near a pretty busy street. Right as Texas was about to get on the bull, we saw a cop drive by. It didn't have it's lights on or anything, but we felt sketchy so we decided to go. All of a sudden the cop flips it's lights on and zooms up towards us. Texas and I grab all of our stuff and book it to the car. We turn around and David is GONE. He grabbed his shirt and shoes and took off, and we have no idea at all where he went.
So we pull away, thinking we'll pick him up on our way out. We're not going fast or anything, just normal parking lot speed, when we get pulled over. And when I say pulled over, I mean SURROUNDED. Three cops come speeding up. One pulls up behind us, one to the side of us, and one right in front of us, so we're completely blocked in.
The cop in front of us jumps out of the car and runs over to us. The conversation went as follows:
Texas: Hello officer, is there anything wrong?
Officer: You guys didn't happen to see a boy running past here did you? He was skinny and had long hair.
T: No sir.
O: Are you sure?
T: Yes sir.
O: *proceeds to look in the back of the car with his flashlight.
Officer then takes a description of our clothes and our license numbers. He's radioing all his other people talking to them about who know what.
O: So it's just you two up here?
T: yes sir.
O: What are you doing up here?
T: We're just longboarding sir.
O: You're not lying to me are you?
It's pertinent to mention that at this point in the encounter I completely thought we were going to be arrested.
T: No sir, we haven't seen anything.
The cop gets back on his radio and says something along the lines of "two females, story checks out, I don't think it's them.
He runs back to his car, and jumps in, and pulls out of the parking lot, lights flashing and tires squealing, and his companions soon follow him.
So at this point Texas and I CANNOT BELIEVE we got away with it. We drive around looking for David for a while, but there are cops all over the place. There must have been 8 or 9 driving around looking for him. We kept driving around, but at one point we got followed by two cops, so instead of hanging around and looking suspicious, we decided to take off.
We parked in the Petsmart parking lot and went over our options. We decided to call Dixon, who lives on campus, and ask if he'll go up and drive around looking for David. Dixon agrees, but half-an-hour later, there is still no sign of David. At this point in the night it's about twelve-thirty. So Texas and I decide that David is a smart kid, that he'll find someplace to stay and be fine. So we head home, but both feel incredibly guilty for leaving him up there.
I'm lying awake in bed at 1:57 when I receive a phone call. It's a completely foreign area code, and I have no idea who it is, but I answer anyways. It turns out it's David, and he borrowed a phone from some random creepers who were out walking at two in the morning. He asks me to come pick him up, so I call Texas, we jump in the car and scamper back on up to campus. We eventually picked him up at the northeast corner of the cemetery, where he proceeded to tell us his story.
He basically hid in the bushes for a solid three hours, and counted cop cars go by no less than 38 times. 38! So ridiculous. Good news: None of us got caught. Moral of the story: Apparently it's illegal to ride the bull. :(
On the night of Monday, August 9, 2010, David, Texas and I decided we were going to go longboarding. This is a pretty regular occurrence; we go probably at least once a week up on campus.
We started out in the spectrum parking lot just messing around there for a while. Then we went up by the stairs on the east side of that parking lot and took some pictures. We decided we were going to do a loop around campus like we normally do, but first took a pit stop at the statue of the bull.
David immediately decided he wanted to get on it, and fake becoming an ultimate aggie, meaning he would just take his shirt off and ride side saddle so it looked like he was naked. So he's up on this bull, pretending to ride it, and Texas is about to get on.
Now, if you know Utah State's campus, you know that the statue of the bull is incredibly well lit. It's also near a pretty busy street. Right as Texas was about to get on the bull, we saw a cop drive by. It didn't have it's lights on or anything, but we felt sketchy so we decided to go. All of a sudden the cop flips it's lights on and zooms up towards us. Texas and I grab all of our stuff and book it to the car. We turn around and David is GONE. He grabbed his shirt and shoes and took off, and we have no idea at all where he went.
So we pull away, thinking we'll pick him up on our way out. We're not going fast or anything, just normal parking lot speed, when we get pulled over. And when I say pulled over, I mean SURROUNDED. Three cops come speeding up. One pulls up behind us, one to the side of us, and one right in front of us, so we're completely blocked in.
The cop in front of us jumps out of the car and runs over to us. The conversation went as follows:
Texas: Hello officer, is there anything wrong?
Officer: You guys didn't happen to see a boy running past here did you? He was skinny and had long hair.
T: No sir.
O: Are you sure?
T: Yes sir.
O: *proceeds to look in the back of the car with his flashlight.
Officer then takes a description of our clothes and our license numbers. He's radioing all his other people talking to them about who know what.
O: So it's just you two up here?
T: yes sir.
O: What are you doing up here?
T: We're just longboarding sir.
O: You're not lying to me are you?
It's pertinent to mention that at this point in the encounter I completely thought we were going to be arrested.
T: No sir, we haven't seen anything.
The cop gets back on his radio and says something along the lines of "two females, story checks out, I don't think it's them.
He runs back to his car, and jumps in, and pulls out of the parking lot, lights flashing and tires squealing, and his companions soon follow him.
So at this point Texas and I CANNOT BELIEVE we got away with it. We drive around looking for David for a while, but there are cops all over the place. There must have been 8 or 9 driving around looking for him. We kept driving around, but at one point we got followed by two cops, so instead of hanging around and looking suspicious, we decided to take off.
We parked in the Petsmart parking lot and went over our options. We decided to call Dixon, who lives on campus, and ask if he'll go up and drive around looking for David. Dixon agrees, but half-an-hour later, there is still no sign of David. At this point in the night it's about twelve-thirty. So Texas and I decide that David is a smart kid, that he'll find someplace to stay and be fine. So we head home, but both feel incredibly guilty for leaving him up there.
I'm lying awake in bed at 1:57 when I receive a phone call. It's a completely foreign area code, and I have no idea who it is, but I answer anyways. It turns out it's David, and he borrowed a phone from some random creepers who were out walking at two in the morning. He asks me to come pick him up, so I call Texas, we jump in the car and scamper back on up to campus. We eventually picked him up at the northeast corner of the cemetery, where he proceeded to tell us his story.
He basically hid in the bushes for a solid three hours, and counted cop cars go by no less than 38 times. 38! So ridiculous. Good news: None of us got caught. Moral of the story: Apparently it's illegal to ride the bull. :(
Monday, August 9, 2010
Mah roomies.
SHIT. Naturally, ever since I got my roommate list I've been creeping on them and trying to learn more about them. What I've learned is HORRIFYING. I honestly don't know if I'm going to be able to handle next year. All of them are incredibly Mormon and I just can't handle that again. I'll just do a little blurb about each of them and let you try and experience the ridiculousness.
Jenifer Richards, my room roommate.
I'm just frightened of her. She looks like Satan and has entire albums dedicated to her ugly dog. She also talks a whole lot about how she loves going to the temple.
Danyelle Calvert:
A-I REALLY dislike her first name. I know, it's irrational. But really.
B-I don't really know anything about her....her facebook is kind of boring.
Brittany Bigler:
-Rodeo queen. Strike one.
Morgan Adams:
She "lives for dance." She also loves disney channel and won't ever shut up about it. Is best friends with the roommate below her, Karlee. When put together, they're a deadly combination.
Karlee Brown
-LOVES david archuleta
-LOVES hannah montana
-LOVES disney channel
-LOVES everything.
I CAN'T HANDLE THIS RIDICULOUS OPTIMISM.
Jenifer Richards, my room roommate.
I'm just frightened of her. She looks like Satan and has entire albums dedicated to her ugly dog. She also talks a whole lot about how she loves going to the temple.
Danyelle Calvert:
A-I REALLY dislike her first name. I know, it's irrational. But really.
B-I don't really know anything about her....her facebook is kind of boring.
Brittany Bigler:
-Rodeo queen. Strike one.
Morgan Adams:
She "lives for dance." She also loves disney channel and won't ever shut up about it. Is best friends with the roommate below her, Karlee. When put together, they're a deadly combination.
Karlee Brown
-LOVES david archuleta
-LOVES hannah montana
-LOVES disney channel
-LOVES everything.
I CAN'T HANDLE THIS RIDICULOUS OPTIMISM.
Friday, July 23, 2010
311 aka best night of my life.
I went to my first and thus most amazing concert of my life on Wednesday. Pepper, The Offspring, and 311. It was ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC.
So, Texas, David, Megan and I all met at Tex's house and we were off. We drove to Layton, listening to and raucously singing the Paul Simon song, "Call me Al" the entire way. We reached Ashley's (Megan's sister) house, and went inside to wait for them to be ready. We were mauled by ridiculously crazy dogs the entire time, but it was all worth it, because they were our ride to the concert!
The rest of the day was incredibly eventful.
On the way to Usana, there was a really bad car accident two cars in front of us. We got to Usana, and were instantly surrounded by people chugging last-minute beers, since no outside food or drink is allowed.
We went inside and Pepper was already playing. I had never heard of them, but they were pretty decent. They were a band from Hawaii who played shirtless, their pics rippling and glistening in the fading sunlight, and they said fuck way too much.
We were out on the lawn by the railing, and had a perfect spot in the action.
On our left was a bitchy woman and her husband, who by the end of the night were inebriated enough to be dancing freely. But she was still a bitch. On the right was a group of drunken 30-year olds who took to yelling at people walking on the sidewalk below us. They repeatedly tried to vault the railings, and every single time their foot caught and they went down hard, face first. This was almost more entertaining than Pepper.
The Offspring came on next, and they were pretty good. I only knew a couple of songs, but they were still fun to listen to and had pretty cool lights. During their last song there was a commotion down on the sidewalk. Everyone stopped paying attention and instead watched the action down below. A man in a white shirt was sprinting along the sidewalk, and hot in pursuit was a group of Usana people and police officers. The man was slightly inebriated, and he kept falling. The cops finally had him surrounded, and it looked like he was going down, and he VAULTED OVER THE COPS. He took off onto the lawn and quickly got lost in the crows. The cops stayed below us for a while, talking and sending each other messages on their highly unnecessary radios before they dispersed. We're pretty sure we saw the guy later walking around without his shirt off. That guy had balls.
Finally, the main event started. There are only a few things more exciting than this that have ever happened to me. They started with the song Down, then played some of their older stuff. Texas and I both freaked out when they played India Ink. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. One of the coolest things I have ever seen, hands down. They played a couple of other songs, and near the end they finally played my absolute favorite, Amber. I was ecstatic. Goose bumps shot up my arms and I have never screamed so loud in my life.
It was beautiful.
They finished up soon after that, the only disappointing thing being that they didn't play any songs from Don't Tread On Me. They did a couple of encore songs, and then they were done.
We headed back, stopped at Beto's on the way home, and went away on our voyage to Logan.
So, Texas, David, Megan and I all met at Tex's house and we were off. We drove to Layton, listening to and raucously singing the Paul Simon song, "Call me Al" the entire way. We reached Ashley's (Megan's sister) house, and went inside to wait for them to be ready. We were mauled by ridiculously crazy dogs the entire time, but it was all worth it, because they were our ride to the concert!
The rest of the day was incredibly eventful.
On the way to Usana, there was a really bad car accident two cars in front of us. We got to Usana, and were instantly surrounded by people chugging last-minute beers, since no outside food or drink is allowed.
We went inside and Pepper was already playing. I had never heard of them, but they were pretty decent. They were a band from Hawaii who played shirtless, their pics rippling and glistening in the fading sunlight, and they said fuck way too much.
We were out on the lawn by the railing, and had a perfect spot in the action.
On our left was a bitchy woman and her husband, who by the end of the night were inebriated enough to be dancing freely. But she was still a bitch. On the right was a group of drunken 30-year olds who took to yelling at people walking on the sidewalk below us. They repeatedly tried to vault the railings, and every single time their foot caught and they went down hard, face first. This was almost more entertaining than Pepper.
The Offspring came on next, and they were pretty good. I only knew a couple of songs, but they were still fun to listen to and had pretty cool lights. During their last song there was a commotion down on the sidewalk. Everyone stopped paying attention and instead watched the action down below. A man in a white shirt was sprinting along the sidewalk, and hot in pursuit was a group of Usana people and police officers. The man was slightly inebriated, and he kept falling. The cops finally had him surrounded, and it looked like he was going down, and he VAULTED OVER THE COPS. He took off onto the lawn and quickly got lost in the crows. The cops stayed below us for a while, talking and sending each other messages on their highly unnecessary radios before they dispersed. We're pretty sure we saw the guy later walking around without his shirt off. That guy had balls.
Finally, the main event started. There are only a few things more exciting than this that have ever happened to me. They started with the song Down, then played some of their older stuff. Texas and I both freaked out when they played India Ink. It was ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. One of the coolest things I have ever seen, hands down. They played a couple of other songs, and near the end they finally played my absolute favorite, Amber. I was ecstatic. Goose bumps shot up my arms and I have never screamed so loud in my life.
It was beautiful.
They finished up soon after that, the only disappointing thing being that they didn't play any songs from Don't Tread On Me. They did a couple of encore songs, and then they were done.
We headed back, stopped at Beto's on the way home, and went away on our voyage to Logan.
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