I am a worrier. I don't mean that I worry in the sense that I concern myself with little things. I mean worry in the sense that if I don't do everything in exactly the right order and exactly the right time period with the exact desired results, I will end up homeless living under a freeway overpass and begging truckers for the remains of their bags of Fritos in order to survive.
I'm just about to enter my teaching program, and as I've started the preparation I've become so preoccupied with all of the things that are coming up: The Praxis, practicums, student teaching, paperwork, choosing a school district to teach in, preparing lesson plans, building a professional wardrobe, and other anxieties about my chosen profession. This type of thinking has been my modus operandi for as long as I can remember.
However, there comes a time and place when you must push everything aside, take a deep breath, and realize that everything will work out. For me, it was when I had a beer with my 7th grade science teacher at The Owl tonight. We began talking about teaching (much to the chagrin of our companions, I'm sure) and I felt very calm about the whole thing. Something came over me that just brought me to the realization that things will work out. They may not work out on the exact timeline that I had planned or in the order that is typically expected, but something will work out. I have no idea what particular details of the night made my brain rearrange its thought process, but I am so glad it happened.
This brief moment of intense clarity was exactly what I needed. I don't feel as dumb about not graduating on time as I did this morning. I don't care that my chosen future career is sometimes looked down upon. I'm trying really hard not to care that I may not be the best at everything I do--these things take time--but it's coming.
I'm content and confident.
:)
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I Believe
Living in a culture where the majority of people around you have a clear cut set of beliefs can be interesting. When people around you find out you don't share their beliefs, they tend to react one of four ways: They can try to convert you, they choose to no longer associate with you, they assume ambivalence, or they try to get to know more about your beliefs. Lately I've been getting a lot of questions from friends old and new about what I believe in. It's true; I don't have a clear cut set of beliefs. I don't subscribe to any particular religion or guided way of life. This isn't to say that I think religion is bad. I just think it serves a purpose in some people's lives that may not be needed in the lives of others.
I thought I'd write an "I Believe" post to show that, while I do have morals, opinions, and a dos and don'ts list, I'm kind of making it up as I go and doing what I feel is best for the situation I'm in and for the people around me.
I believe that, when the opportunity arises, you should always help people. Even if the act seems small, I think it can turn a person's day around. This spans from holding a door open for a stranger to helping a classmate study for a test to helping a friend move to being available to talk when a friend has a problem. You'll never regret helping someone out.
I believe in the idea of "what goes around comes around." I think if you help people as often as you can, you'll receive help when you're in need. I think too often people expect to receive help when they are unwilling to do the same for other people.
I believe in working hard. I've had a job since I was 15. I work to get the grades I want and to accomplish the goals I've set for myself both at work and school. I don't understand the idea of people showing up to work and just standing around. I believe people should earn what they receive.
I believe in being honest. I used to have a problem with exaggerating. I'd tell stories and exaggerate them into these phenomenal epics until they barely resembled the actual event. I made a conscious decision to stop doing this and to be straight forward and even blunt with people, and it's worked out so much better for me.
I believe in putting relationships first. I think family and friends should be the first and second most important priorities in your life. There's nothing wrong with trying new things and moving away and working hard, but if you ignore your relationships they'll quickly dwindle and may not always still be there when you get back. I believe that relationships take time and effort from both parties.
I believe that people should be allowed to make their own choices unless they infringe on someone else's personal space, safety, or happiness. To this effect, I don't think drinking is wrong unless you put yourself in the situation to hurt someone while you're doing it. I don't think swearing is wrong unless the words are being used abusively towards someone or the words make someone in the conversation uncomfortable. I don't see anything wrong with having tattoos or extra piercings or unnatural hair colors or wearing two piece swimsuits and tank tops.
I believe in a god, although I don't think he or she has as much to do with our day-to-day lives as we often think. I came across this quote in an Ellen Hopkins book some time ago and it has stayed with me ever since. "God is love. And he respects love, whether it's between a parents and child, a man and woman [a man and a man, a woman and a woman], or friends. I don't think he cares about religion one little bit. Live your life right. Love with all your heart. Don't hurt others, and help those in need. That is all you need to know. And don't worry about heaven. If it exists, you'll be welcome."
I hope this clears things up for those of you who have asked me questions. I hope I've written something that you can ponder upon and maybe strikes a chord. Or maybe you think I've written a load of garbage and you want to stick to your own beliefs. That's fine too. I think the most important thing about this post is that ultimately, it's actions that matter more than beliefs.
I thought I'd write an "I Believe" post to show that, while I do have morals, opinions, and a dos and don'ts list, I'm kind of making it up as I go and doing what I feel is best for the situation I'm in and for the people around me.
I believe that, when the opportunity arises, you should always help people. Even if the act seems small, I think it can turn a person's day around. This spans from holding a door open for a stranger to helping a classmate study for a test to helping a friend move to being available to talk when a friend has a problem. You'll never regret helping someone out.
I believe in the idea of "what goes around comes around." I think if you help people as often as you can, you'll receive help when you're in need. I think too often people expect to receive help when they are unwilling to do the same for other people.
I believe in working hard. I've had a job since I was 15. I work to get the grades I want and to accomplish the goals I've set for myself both at work and school. I don't understand the idea of people showing up to work and just standing around. I believe people should earn what they receive.
I believe in being honest. I used to have a problem with exaggerating. I'd tell stories and exaggerate them into these phenomenal epics until they barely resembled the actual event. I made a conscious decision to stop doing this and to be straight forward and even blunt with people, and it's worked out so much better for me.
I believe in putting relationships first. I think family and friends should be the first and second most important priorities in your life. There's nothing wrong with trying new things and moving away and working hard, but if you ignore your relationships they'll quickly dwindle and may not always still be there when you get back. I believe that relationships take time and effort from both parties.
I believe that people should be allowed to make their own choices unless they infringe on someone else's personal space, safety, or happiness. To this effect, I don't think drinking is wrong unless you put yourself in the situation to hurt someone while you're doing it. I don't think swearing is wrong unless the words are being used abusively towards someone or the words make someone in the conversation uncomfortable. I don't see anything wrong with having tattoos or extra piercings or unnatural hair colors or wearing two piece swimsuits and tank tops.
I believe in a god, although I don't think he or she has as much to do with our day-to-day lives as we often think. I came across this quote in an Ellen Hopkins book some time ago and it has stayed with me ever since. "God is love. And he respects love, whether it's between a parents and child, a man and woman [a man and a man, a woman and a woman], or friends. I don't think he cares about religion one little bit. Live your life right. Love with all your heart. Don't hurt others, and help those in need. That is all you need to know. And don't worry about heaven. If it exists, you'll be welcome."
I hope this clears things up for those of you who have asked me questions. I hope I've written something that you can ponder upon and maybe strikes a chord. Or maybe you think I've written a load of garbage and you want to stick to your own beliefs. That's fine too. I think the most important thing about this post is that ultimately, it's actions that matter more than beliefs.
Saturday, May 4, 2013
21 Reasons My Best Friend is Better Than Your Best Friend (yes, this is a competition)
1) Dani can dance like there's no tomorrow.
2) I've never seen a human being alive with more love for babies and little kids than Dani.
3) I admire how persevering and strong Dani is. She keeps trucking on, even when things are tough.
4) Dani gives PHENOMENAL advice. She is always level headed and her opinion matters more to me than anyone else.
5) She can cook pancakes like nobody's business.
6) She is a fantastic mother and wife.
7) She lets me organize her belongings.
8) Dani isn't afraid to look stupid. She'll sing her heart out and dance like crazy if it means she and the people around her are having a good time.
9) She reaches out to people. She was the one who initiated our friendship, for which I am eternally grateful.
10) She lets me vent to her at any time of the day or night.
11) She is willing to try anything once.
12) She'll watch stupid youtube videos with me for hours on end.
13) Dani is reliable. She is always available when I need to talk to her and she keeps her promises. Always.
14) Dani is the least judgmental person I've ever met. You could tell her you just murdered a pregnant Mother Teresa and she wouldn't judge you.
15) She drops everything and watches Grey's Anatomy with me every time we feel the desire.
16) She's seen me at my gross, sweaty, braless worst and still loves me.
17) She is loyal to a fault. She would never consider breaking a promise or betraying anyone in any way.
18) She has a great relationship with her family and friends.
19) Her laugh and smile are contagious; you can't help but laugh when she's laughing.
20) She has an incredible ability to memorize song lyrics-this is important because when we're singing along to songs in the car she can do all of the fast rap parts.
21) She knows literally everything about me. She knows the good, bad, and the ugly, and still she stays around.
How lucky am I?
Happy 21st, Danyelle. I hope you have many more prosperous years; know that I will be here for all of them.
Love, Katy
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2) I've never seen a human being alive with more love for babies and little kids than Dani.
3) I admire how persevering and strong Dani is. She keeps trucking on, even when things are tough.
4) Dani gives PHENOMENAL advice. She is always level headed and her opinion matters more to me than anyone else.
5) She can cook pancakes like nobody's business.
6) She is a fantastic mother and wife.
7) She lets me organize her belongings.
8) Dani isn't afraid to look stupid. She'll sing her heart out and dance like crazy if it means she and the people around her are having a good time.
9) She reaches out to people. She was the one who initiated our friendship, for which I am eternally grateful.
10) She lets me vent to her at any time of the day or night.
11) She is willing to try anything once.
12) She'll watch stupid youtube videos with me for hours on end.
13) Dani is reliable. She is always available when I need to talk to her and she keeps her promises. Always.
14) Dani is the least judgmental person I've ever met. You could tell her you just murdered a pregnant Mother Teresa and she wouldn't judge you.
15) She drops everything and watches Grey's Anatomy with me every time we feel the desire.
16) She's seen me at my gross, sweaty, braless worst and still loves me.
17) She is loyal to a fault. She would never consider breaking a promise or betraying anyone in any way.
18) She has a great relationship with her family and friends.
19) Her laugh and smile are contagious; you can't help but laugh when she's laughing.
20) She has an incredible ability to memorize song lyrics-this is important because when we're singing along to songs in the car she can do all of the fast rap parts.
21) She knows literally everything about me. She knows the good, bad, and the ugly, and still she stays around.
How lucky am I?
Happy 21st, Danyelle. I hope you have many more prosperous years; know that I will be here for all of them.
Love, Katy
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Honorary Calvert
When I was 6 my family moved out of Utah County and away from every member of my extended family on the maternal side. This side of the family still gets together almost weekly, just sans my immediate family and me.
On the paternal side of the family, for most of my youth my aunts, uncles, and cousins were spread all over the country: California, Washington, Florida, Georgia, Texas, etc. I have one cousin around my age and one aunt that I'm pretty close to; other than that we're awkwardly formal at familial gatherings.
When we lived at Snow, the first time we ever went home to Dani's was the weekend of Thanksgiving Break. Dani's sister, Brooke, was having a birthday party that weekend, and I expected it would be a reasonably small gathering. Not so. Dani dropped me off at the place the party was being held, took off to go to work, and left me with 40 of her extended family members, none of which I had met before. I spent the next three hours blowing up balloons, making friends with Dani's small cousins, and being baffled over the thought of such a close knit extended family. I had no idea that extended families got together for things like this. They see each other constantly; they're at every birthday party, dance recital, kindergarten graduation, and everything in between.
Virtually every time I went home with Dani from then on, or when I visit her now, I get to see the entire family. And I LOVE it. Her little cousins are the cutest girls on the planet. Her aunt Challene is endlessly kind and interested in life's events, and is so easy to talk to. Her brothers and sisters are socially inept, but hilarious. They treat me like I belong there. they put me to work just like the other members of the family, they ask about life, and they include me in their conversations and stories. They invite me on their family outings, whether Dani is available to go or not. I'm more comfortable with Dani's extended family than I am with some of my own. I love it.
This post is for you, Calvert family. Thanks for taking me in. :)
On the paternal side of the family, for most of my youth my aunts, uncles, and cousins were spread all over the country: California, Washington, Florida, Georgia, Texas, etc. I have one cousin around my age and one aunt that I'm pretty close to; other than that we're awkwardly formal at familial gatherings.
When we lived at Snow, the first time we ever went home to Dani's was the weekend of Thanksgiving Break. Dani's sister, Brooke, was having a birthday party that weekend, and I expected it would be a reasonably small gathering. Not so. Dani dropped me off at the place the party was being held, took off to go to work, and left me with 40 of her extended family members, none of which I had met before. I spent the next three hours blowing up balloons, making friends with Dani's small cousins, and being baffled over the thought of such a close knit extended family. I had no idea that extended families got together for things like this. They see each other constantly; they're at every birthday party, dance recital, kindergarten graduation, and everything in between.
Virtually every time I went home with Dani from then on, or when I visit her now, I get to see the entire family. And I LOVE it. Her little cousins are the cutest girls on the planet. Her aunt Challene is endlessly kind and interested in life's events, and is so easy to talk to. Her brothers and sisters are socially inept, but hilarious. They treat me like I belong there. they put me to work just like the other members of the family, they ask about life, and they include me in their conversations and stories. They invite me on their family outings, whether Dani is available to go or not. I'm more comfortable with Dani's extended family than I am with some of my own. I love it.
This post is for you, Calvert family. Thanks for taking me in. :)
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Snapchat
I recently downloaded Snapchat. I had it a few months ago, never used it, and subsequently deleted it. The other day I decided I would give Snapchat another try, so my sister gave me a tutorial. I downloaded it and Liz started walking me through the steps.
We saw the username of one of our close mutual friends, Kellee, and decided to send her a ridiculous Snap. So we got under the covers of my bed, pulled our tank top straps down, and positioned ourselves to look like we were naked. No big. We were still fully clothed. We sent the picture off and waited anxiously for Kellee to snap us back.
We soon got the notification of a new picture and opened it quickly. What did we see? A horrified Kellie-jo, my sweet friend from English class, with the caption "What the???!" I literally facepalmed my face in embarrassment and texted Kellie-jo, searching for words to explain our humiliating blunder. I also considered never going to English class again
In conclusion, I am an idiot and am never using any new modern technology for the rest of my life.
We saw the username of one of our close mutual friends, Kellee, and decided to send her a ridiculous Snap. So we got under the covers of my bed, pulled our tank top straps down, and positioned ourselves to look like we were naked. No big. We were still fully clothed. We sent the picture off and waited anxiously for Kellee to snap us back.
We soon got the notification of a new picture and opened it quickly. What did we see? A horrified Kellie-jo, my sweet friend from English class, with the caption "What the???!" I literally facepalmed my face in embarrassment and texted Kellie-jo, searching for words to explain our humiliating blunder. I also considered never going to English class again
In conclusion, I am an idiot and am never using any new modern technology for the rest of my life.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Grandpa
"Sir, how many packs of cigarettes have you smoked in your lifetime?"
"16,000. Well, hang on. I quit for basketball season and then started again, so...carry the 2. Yep. 16,000."
The above is a conversation between my grandfather and his doctor. He's been in the hospital and even though he's likely miserable, he still has his dry yet hilarious sense of humor going at all times. He jokes about the food, about the state of the nurses, and about how he's keeping my grandma from her shopping trips. He is one of the happiest, most optimistic people I know.
When I was 8, he gave me Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. Being the nerdy child I was, I quickly devoured it and distinctly remember telling my grandpa that it was "just all right." He chortled his wheezy little laugh and told me to reread it when I was older. I followed his advice in the 9th grade and found that I liked it more. Then again in the 12th grade. Then again this past week. I finished the book for the 4th time yesterday morning and sobbed like a baby while finishing it. I then realized there has been a pattern in my reading, and it's due to my grandpa. To most of my cousins and siblings I only ever heard him ask generic questions. However, he ALWAYS asks me what I've been reading and then intelligently discusses it with me. We talk about more than just plot. We talk about themes and morals and writing strategies. He made me love reading even more than I already did and realize that I wanted to do something with English as a career.
My grandpa was a chemical engineer. He didn't have to go through the extensive literary analysis classes that I do. He didn't have to pull his hair out looking for the elusive theme of a poem. He did it because he is constantly searching for higher meaning and deeper understanding of life.
When he lived in Washington we went up to visit him every summer. I can distinctly remember my mornings with him as an early riser. We'd wake up and pick blueberries from the bushes on the side of his house. We'd then travel inside and watch the news, focusing particularly on the Welch's "100 years old" feature while he made pancakes. "How about that?! 100 years old is a long time to live." I assumed he was pretty close to that already as a child and didn't know why he was so astounded by the thought of a centenarian.
I know this is kind of rambling and disjointed, but I just wanted to write down some of my memories of my grandpa and the impact he's had on me. He is one of the kindest, most sincere, dedicated people I've ever had the privilege to know. He seems to be infinitely patient, good natured, and has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm hoping he leaves the hospital in good health soon, but I know our time together is drawing to a close.
I love you, Grandpa. I hope heaven is an endless golf course with lemon drop stands at every hole.
"16,000. Well, hang on. I quit for basketball season and then started again, so...carry the 2. Yep. 16,000."
The above is a conversation between my grandfather and his doctor. He's been in the hospital and even though he's likely miserable, he still has his dry yet hilarious sense of humor going at all times. He jokes about the food, about the state of the nurses, and about how he's keeping my grandma from her shopping trips. He is one of the happiest, most optimistic people I know.
When I was 8, he gave me Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. Being the nerdy child I was, I quickly devoured it and distinctly remember telling my grandpa that it was "just all right." He chortled his wheezy little laugh and told me to reread it when I was older. I followed his advice in the 9th grade and found that I liked it more. Then again in the 12th grade. Then again this past week. I finished the book for the 4th time yesterday morning and sobbed like a baby while finishing it. I then realized there has been a pattern in my reading, and it's due to my grandpa. To most of my cousins and siblings I only ever heard him ask generic questions. However, he ALWAYS asks me what I've been reading and then intelligently discusses it with me. We talk about more than just plot. We talk about themes and morals and writing strategies. He made me love reading even more than I already did and realize that I wanted to do something with English as a career.
My grandpa was a chemical engineer. He didn't have to go through the extensive literary analysis classes that I do. He didn't have to pull his hair out looking for the elusive theme of a poem. He did it because he is constantly searching for higher meaning and deeper understanding of life.
When he lived in Washington we went up to visit him every summer. I can distinctly remember my mornings with him as an early riser. We'd wake up and pick blueberries from the bushes on the side of his house. We'd then travel inside and watch the news, focusing particularly on the Welch's "100 years old" feature while he made pancakes. "How about that?! 100 years old is a long time to live." I assumed he was pretty close to that already as a child and didn't know why he was so astounded by the thought of a centenarian.
I know this is kind of rambling and disjointed, but I just wanted to write down some of my memories of my grandpa and the impact he's had on me. He is one of the kindest, most sincere, dedicated people I've ever had the privilege to know. He seems to be infinitely patient, good natured, and has a wonderful sense of humor. I'm hoping he leaves the hospital in good health soon, but I know our time together is drawing to a close.
I love you, Grandpa. I hope heaven is an endless golf course with lemon drop stands at every hole.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
A Nightmare I had this Evening OR Why the H I'm Awake at 3 in the Morning.
It is currently the middle of the night. 3:05 am to be exact. The last time I saw this time of the night was NEVER. I am such a baby in my sleep patterns; I usually fall asleep around 9:30 or 10 and wake up naturally between 6 and 7. It's nice. "But Katy," you may ask "what on earth could be causing you to be awake at such an unholy hour? And could you teach me how to do your eyeliner? It looks awesome!"
Firstly, I'll be glad to tell you how I do my eyeliner, thanks for noticing! And secondly, let me tell you about the kind of day I had on Tuesday and my ensuing horrific nightmare.
Tuesday was LONG. I spent almost 13 hours on campus. I had two presentations that did not go as well as I'd hoped, due to the unwillingness to participate that some of my group members had. I took a 45 minute break from campus when my lovely brother took me out to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. We loaded up on shitty food and I went back up to campus. When I got up to campus, I received the news that a girl I had known from Snow had died in a pretty bad car accident. I got all sorts of emotional just remembering how sweet she had been to me when we stayed with her and all the good things about her I had heard from my friend, Celeste. After that we had a meeting with some secondary ed advisers that just made me super anxious about the impending future and my career. I don't feel old enough to have a career. Bleh.
Okay. That was my day. Now here's a tiny bit of background information you'll need to understand this dream. Dani has a friend, Alexis. Alexis is the sweetest person you'll ever meet and I got the chance to become friends with her at Dani's bachelorette party and wedding. Her family is from Nevada so I've never met any of them, I just know that Alexis is this cute, tiny thing that would never hurt a fly. All right. Dream time.
SO. I dreamed that I was in Salt Lake for the weekend spending time with Dani and Jaxson when I received a text from my mom. The text read, "do you know a Mr. Gonzales?" I said I only knew of him and that he was Alexis' dad, and didn't receive a text back for several hours. I thought nothing of it and went about my day cavorting with Dani and Jaxson.
Several hours later I received a picture message from my mom. I opened it and saw a picture of my kitchen with knives stuck into every surface, blood seeping everywhere, and gauges littering the cabinets and countertops. The text read, "your friend's dad showed up at the house and did this to the kitchen to avenge the death of his daughter." I started hyperventilating and screaming and immediately called my mom. She then informed me that Mr. Gonzales had murdered my sister, my best friend, Liz.
I've never experienced such a feeling of dread and that cliched feeling of "my world collapsing around me," but that's what dream Katy felt. Vividly. Liz is my number 1 reason for living, so the news of her death made me unravel. I went into this stupor and drove home without knowing how I got there. I arrived home and my mom met me, but she wasn't sad at all. She just spoke very matter of factly about what had happened. Soon, the truth came out that MY MOTHER had murdered Alexis (I know she had a reason but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.) To avenge Alexis' death, Mr. Gonzales had come to try to murder me, but upon discovering that I was in Salt Lake, took my sister instead.
And then I woke up. Now I have to pee really bad but I'm terrified to get out of bed, and every time I hear a car go by outside I quake in fear.
Ready, interpret!
Sidebar: My mom could never and would never murder anyone. She's too nice. And she doesn't have that kind of brute force.
Firstly, I'll be glad to tell you how I do my eyeliner, thanks for noticing! And secondly, let me tell you about the kind of day I had on Tuesday and my ensuing horrific nightmare.
Tuesday was LONG. I spent almost 13 hours on campus. I had two presentations that did not go as well as I'd hoped, due to the unwillingness to participate that some of my group members had. I took a 45 minute break from campus when my lovely brother took me out to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings. We loaded up on shitty food and I went back up to campus. When I got up to campus, I received the news that a girl I had known from Snow had died in a pretty bad car accident. I got all sorts of emotional just remembering how sweet she had been to me when we stayed with her and all the good things about her I had heard from my friend, Celeste. After that we had a meeting with some secondary ed advisers that just made me super anxious about the impending future and my career. I don't feel old enough to have a career. Bleh.
Okay. That was my day. Now here's a tiny bit of background information you'll need to understand this dream. Dani has a friend, Alexis. Alexis is the sweetest person you'll ever meet and I got the chance to become friends with her at Dani's bachelorette party and wedding. Her family is from Nevada so I've never met any of them, I just know that Alexis is this cute, tiny thing that would never hurt a fly. All right. Dream time.
SO. I dreamed that I was in Salt Lake for the weekend spending time with Dani and Jaxson when I received a text from my mom. The text read, "do you know a Mr. Gonzales?" I said I only knew of him and that he was Alexis' dad, and didn't receive a text back for several hours. I thought nothing of it and went about my day cavorting with Dani and Jaxson.
Several hours later I received a picture message from my mom. I opened it and saw a picture of my kitchen with knives stuck into every surface, blood seeping everywhere, and gauges littering the cabinets and countertops. The text read, "your friend's dad showed up at the house and did this to the kitchen to avenge the death of his daughter." I started hyperventilating and screaming and immediately called my mom. She then informed me that Mr. Gonzales had murdered my sister, my best friend, Liz.
I've never experienced such a feeling of dread and that cliched feeling of "my world collapsing around me," but that's what dream Katy felt. Vividly. Liz is my number 1 reason for living, so the news of her death made me unravel. I went into this stupor and drove home without knowing how I got there. I arrived home and my mom met me, but she wasn't sad at all. She just spoke very matter of factly about what had happened. Soon, the truth came out that MY MOTHER had murdered Alexis (I know she had a reason but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.) To avenge Alexis' death, Mr. Gonzales had come to try to murder me, but upon discovering that I was in Salt Lake, took my sister instead.
And then I woke up. Now I have to pee really bad but I'm terrified to get out of bed, and every time I hear a car go by outside I quake in fear.
Ready, interpret!
Sidebar: My mom could never and would never murder anyone. She's too nice. And she doesn't have that kind of brute force.
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