A whole mash up of my thoughts

I feel like I have so much going through my mind lately. This post may be kind of long, so I apologize in advance.

My fantastic roommate Dani bought me a present over the weekend!! It's a notebook with this album cover on it:



I'm in love with it <3 data-blogger-escaped-br="br">
I've been thinking lately that I want a journal or something not to write down what happened during the day, but just for thoughts. Random things that go through my head. Poems and quotes that I like. So this came at just the right time, and it's going to be my new thought notebook :)

A couple of my major thoughts lately have been regarding Sweeney Todd and technology.
1-Sweeney Todd:
Could possibly be my favorite musical ever. If I had any musical talent whatsoever and could choose a show to be in, it would be this one. The lyrics are absolutely BRILLIANT. And I love the story line. Maybe that's morbid. Whatever. It's amazing.

2-Technology:
Technology really is amazing. We are so privileged to have it, but so many people take it for granted. This first occurred to me when I was in Washington D.C. for our We The People trip. I called Kenzie and talked to her, and we constantly texted. It's amazing to me that messaging can travel instantaneously over thousands and thousands of miles. I've recently been thinking of it because one of my best friends, Mandy, is in Mexico. We can facebook and talk whenever we want to. We're in different COUNTRIES, but we can still talk to each other and communicate almost as effectively as we could if she was sitting next to me. I'm just really grateful for it, I suppose.

Now for this weekend :)
I just hung out by myself on Friday, because all of my roommates went home for the weekend. Saturday I got to see Ashley :) I love her. I haven't loaded pictures from this weekend so here's an older one of us:



We went to my friend's wedding together.  Ashley got baked :) haha. So it was kind of a struggle getting to the actual wedding. We took a multitude of wrong turns and got turned around so many times. And then after the wedding we ate chicken nuggets :) This is John and Megan, and their wedding was pretty.



I'm happy for them :)

Now for the thirty day challenge.
Someone I need to let go, or someone that i wish i had never met.
For some reason I'm having trouble thinking of someone. I think I'm going to take a cop-out on this one and skip to day eleven, with this reasoning:
Everyone that has come into my life has had a lasting effect on me. It may have been good or it may have been bad. But the fact is, I don't want to let go of any of the experiences and relationships I've had. Even if they've been derogatory or unhealthy, I still learned from them, and am ultimately glad that they happened.

So, number 11:
Something people seem to compliment the most on.
The compliment I get most often is that I'm non-judgmental. Truthfully, everyone starts out at hate status for me. Everyone. Even the people who are now my best friends started out at hatred. I may form opinions before I meet people, I think that's part of human nature. The thing that I'm good at is letting go of preconceived notions, and generally accepting people for who they are. I don't care if you're fat, skinny, white, black, mexican, gay, straight, nerdy, attractive, or ugly. If our personalities connect, I'll be your friend. And I'll fight for your right to be whatever you want to be.

I think that's all for tonight. :)

7-Someone who has made your life worth living for

There are so many people who I owe so much to. Alexa and Ashley. . Texas, David and Megan. Noelle, Colton, Shaylie, Moriah. The list goes on and on. So many of these people have helped me in so many different ways, with so many different struggles.

But the person in my mind who makes my life worth living is Liz. My beautiful little sister Elizabeth. She's the one I'm most excited to see when I come home. She's the one I don't want to disappoint, who I want to set a good example for. She knows every last one of my secrets, and I know hers.



She's gorgeous :)



She's my little mini-me. She likes the same books, the same food as me. She tells people her favorite movie is Mean Girls because that's mine. She stopped playing violin and started playing sports because that's what I do.



She's my best friend. I don't ever want to let her down. I want to always be there for her and look up to her more than anyone else. She has made my life worth living.

5-Something You Hope To Do In Your Life

This has been my favorite of the 30 so far. It gives me a chance to be idealistic and maybe even unrealistic for a period of time. So, follows is a list of things I would LOVE to do, but probably never will unless I become incredibly rich or fall upon several spots of good luck:

-Be a professional baseball statistician.
Oh man. This has always been my profession that I've dreamed about but never really thought to be realistic. How awesome would it be to keep stats for a major league team, travel with them , and see a great game every day of your life. It would be paradisaical.

-Go sky diving.
Yup. typical dream. But the rush of actually hurling yourself out of a plane would be incredible. And a once in a lifetime experience.

-Go on an archaeological dig.
I know. It's nerdy. When I was little I read this Nancy Drew book where she gets invited to go along on a dig in Peru. It talked all about it, and I was absolutely fascinated with it. It pretty much sounded like the life, out all day playing in the dirt with people you really like.

-Become a pilot.
I don't think I would want a commercial pilot license. You'd have to be away from your family too much. But freak, if I ever got rich enough, you better believe I'd buy a private jet/helicopter for personal use.

-Meet a president.
Obviously, I'd prefer it be a democrat :) But I'm not picky. I'd like to do more than just meet them though. I'd like to have at least a short conversation. I feel like I'd have to do something substantially important for this to happen though.

-Spend a month in Washington, D.C. A week was not nearly long enough.
When I went to D.C. for We The People nationals I fell in love with the city. I wanted to see everything there was to see, but we didn't have time. I'm going to live back east someday. Back in the center of culture and history. I'm gonna see all the sights of American political and revolutionary history. Maybe I'll be an intern in the white house. That'll kill two birds with one stone :)

There's so many other ridiculous little things I would love to do. But really, I just want to help people. I know that sounds corny and overused and insincere, but it's true. I want to be a mental health and substance abuse counselor. I know too many people who suffer from these issues, and I want to help them get their lives straightened out.

Something I Love About Myself-Day 2

Not gonna lie, this was a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. I kept thinking of stupid little things like, "I'm independent," or "I can be optimistic." But those weren't working out.
The thing that I love most about myself is that I Am Me.

When I was younger I found it a constant struggle to be myself. First grade, I got the same set of colored pencils as Kylee Webb, because everyone liked her. Second grade, I wore overalls to school every day, because Mary Bowen did too.
Third grade I was the class genius, because I wanted to beat Jill Stapely.
Fourth grade I did everything Britney Hoffman did.
Fifth grade I bought the same jeans as Mckenna Lewis, because she was the coolest girl in our grade.
Sixth and seventh grade I followed Audrey Jardine around like a puppy, because I didn't know who to be. I was in choir and a school play because she was in both of them.
Eighth grade I wanted to be funny and cool like Katelyn Koford and Melissa Huber.
Ninth grade I was helpless without Jenna Knight and Emily Blake.
Tenth grade was when I finally learned to stop. Stop being a clone of someone else. Stop trying to be someone I'm not. Stop acting like a bitch because that's how my friend of the week acted.
Just stop.
It was then that I formed my own persona, and now, I am generally one hundred percent comfortable with myself. I'll wear sweats to class with no make-up, while my roommates will wake up hours early to prepare.
My mouth lacks a filter, which can sometimes get me in trouble, but overall makes me genuine.
I do what I like to do-Not because someone else likes to do it.
I have my own extremely strong opinions-no one's going to change that.
I Am Me. And I am Okay.

Something I Hate About Myself--Day 1

So, I'm doing this challenge called 30 days of truth. It gives you a topic a day to write about, and is supposed to be quite enlightening. You're never supposed to write about the first thing you think of; the second or third thing in line is usually much more meaningful.

I have played almost every sport in the book. I've done any activity you can think of. I've taken a variety of classes. But in every single one of these things I just float by. I can be trying my very hardest, but still end up just being average. I'm 101 in a class of 412, 2nd or 3rd place in every debate I've ever done. I'm that person who never gets promoted, who tries and always succeeds, but someone else succeeds faster or higher up than.

There always seems to be someone better than me out there. Always.
Debate: Dixon and Justin
Rifle: Shelby
Softball: Kenzie
Racquetball: Brittany
Basketball: Dani
Volleyball: Liz
Intelligence: David
The list goes on and on. Someone is always better than me. I've never been the person to save the day for my team, or come in first. That's what I hate the most about myself. I'm not extraordinary in anything; just ordinary.

The Post In Which I Eat My Words

So, I know I'm long overdue for a post. And a whole lot has happened since I posted last. Firstly. I GOT A TATTOOOOOOO! I am completely in love with it. Here is a picture:



It's for TWLOHA. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I seriously was almost crying before it even started I was so scared. It took about an hour to do, and didn't actually hurt that bad, except for when it hit bone. He said I bled a lot though, which kind of freaked me out. Now it just feels like a sunburn, and it's kind of scabby and nappy, but that should go away soon :) I told my dad. And I think he is going to tell my Mom. But he was going to wait until after I left town. Smart man, he is. Oh and my sister knows as well.

I might actually fail out of school. Seriously. My classes this semester are incredibly hard. I don't know how i'm gonna pull this off. I took a biology test today, and am hoping for a 50% on it. That's how bad it went.

So, the eat my words part of this post:
I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. Yup.
Miss Karlee Brown turned out to practically be my twin.

We both HATE feet, LOVE cholula, and sleep on the opposite end of the bed among other things.

Dani:

dani is pretty chill. she parties. and i just really love her :)

brittany:

she and I have different interests, so sometimes it's kind of hard to understand her. Like she does horse shows and stuff that I know nothing about. But she's generally isnanely nice and fun to be with :)

Aaaand Morgan:


She generally is really sweet, truthfully.
We have a lot more in common than I orginally thought.

So yes. I made some pre-judgements. But you've gotta remember, everyone starts out at hate status with me. EVERYONE. There is no exception. And most of my roommates have gotten way out of hate status. Which is good :) They're a lot of fun and generally are really chill. I'm not super close to any of them, but I'm comfortable with all of them.

New and Improved

So I finally got my schedule all worked out. I'm annoyed I had to change it in the first place, but it's good now. I was originally taking softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, music, government, and english. Katherine was going to help me with Music 1010, and I was going to help her with government. She just up and decided yesterday to quit music 1010 without telling me, leaving me totally screwed over. that class is HARD. There's no way I could pass it. I don't actually have to take government; I got those credits out of the way in high school. I considered dropping government and letting Katherine deal with it on her own, which seemed like a good idea. Instead, for once in my life, I took the higher, less vindictive road, and stayed enrolled in the class.
Frustrating, yes. My new schedule: softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, government and english! Yes! the cute counselor in the career center switched my credit hours up so I still have enough for my scholarship without music. She just transferred me to a different fit for life class that will allow me to have the same number of credit hours as before! It's a wonderful thing. that took a huge load off my shoulders, and should free up a lot of time now, so I shouldn't be nearly as stressed as I was. Hopefully.
Also, I was going to go into more detail about Dani here. I was kind of vague last time because I was super tired. But right now I'm in that awkward stage where you've stayed awake past the point where you're supposed to fall asleep...so you can't fall asleep anymore. If that even makes sense. So. Dani  We have almost exactly the same opinion on religion and life in general. It is so crazy. We only found out about all of these likenesses the other day but I already feel incredibly close and able to confide in her. It's a good thing to be living with someone like her :)