Balance

This post formed up in my head while driving today. The road is going to be curvy and winding and weird, but I promise I'll get to the point. :)

While driving to a parade with Launa, a lovely lady on band staff with me, the conversation turned to Billy Joel. I know. Typical. I was doing my regular fan girl gushing over him and Launa asked me about my favorite song of his. I named a few that I really liked, but the question prompted me to listen to my entire Billy Joel collection over the last few days in order to get a concrete answer. The votes are in. This is my favorite song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BGbeDb5VIk

I promise this isn't just going to be an ode to Billy Joel. I've already done that on this blog. But this song is so incredibly applicable to my life, more so than any other song I've heard.

Slow down, you crazy child
you're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart, tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You'd better cool it off before you burn it out
You've got so much to do and
Only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told..
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even
Get halfway through
When will you realize, Vienna waits for you?

Slow down, you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it's so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight...
Too bad but it's the life you lead
you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

Though you can see when you're wrong, you know

You can't always see when you're right...you're right

As does the fictional character in the song, I keep busy. I want to be successful and I know to do that I have to work hard. I like being busy. But I have the tendency to burn myself out. I put too much of myself into school and work and don't leave time for my relationships with friends and family, which are very important to me. For example, two semesters ago I left McDonald's for a short period of time and went to work at a call center. I didn't hold crazy hours, and the pay was a little bit higher when I was doing well, but I hated it. I even had a little more free time than I used to have. But the relationships weren't there for me. I didn't care about anyone I worked with, so I felt stressed all the time.

This semester, I've figured it out. This is, without a doubt, the busiest I have ever been. Several days of the week, I'm only home for a half hour period from 6 am to midnight. But I'm happier this semester than I've ever been. The solution:  One of my new jobs is coaching colorguard. In order to do this, I've had to cut back a few hours on each of my other jobs. But the payout (emotionally, not financially) I get from coaching is huge. I get to build relationships with my girls. I get to see them succeed. I get to see their "aha" moments and I get to see the pride in their face when they nail a move they've been struggling with. I get to see the thrill of performing on their faces and their absolute excitement and joy when they win. It's so affirming and validating knowing that I, in a small way, get to help them with this. 

This is the key. Not only is this job keeping me from totally losing it due to stress this semester, it's letting me know that my chosen profession is PERFECT for me. I'll get to see these same things when I teach, although they won't be on a field under the lights. I'm thriving in this situation, getting these girls from the beginning where many of them knew nothing, to the end where they're successful. I'm so stoked to finish school and start teaching, and to hopefully continue coaching for a while. I feel so fortunate to get to be with these girls every day.