Not gonna lie, this was a lot harder than I anticipated it to be. I kept thinking of stupid little things like, "I'm independent," or "I can be optimistic." But those weren't working out.
The thing that I love most about myself is that I Am Me.
When I was younger I found it a constant struggle to be myself. First grade, I got the same set of colored pencils as Kylee Webb, because everyone liked her. Second grade, I wore overalls to school every day, because Mary Bowen did too.
Third grade I was the class genius, because I wanted to beat Jill Stapely.
Fourth grade I did everything Britney Hoffman did.
Fifth grade I bought the same jeans as Mckenna Lewis, because she was the coolest girl in our grade.
Sixth and seventh grade I followed Audrey Jardine around like a puppy, because I didn't know who to be. I was in choir and a school play because she was in both of them.
Eighth grade I wanted to be funny and cool like Katelyn Koford and Melissa Huber.
Ninth grade I was helpless without Jenna Knight and Emily Blake.
Tenth grade was when I finally learned to stop. Stop being a clone of someone else. Stop trying to be someone I'm not. Stop acting like a bitch because that's how my friend of the week acted.
Just stop.
It was then that I formed my own persona, and now, I am generally one hundred percent comfortable with myself. I'll wear sweats to class with no make-up, while my roommates will wake up hours early to prepare.
My mouth lacks a filter, which can sometimes get me in trouble, but overall makes me genuine.
I do what I like to do-Not because someone else likes to do it.
I have my own extremely strong opinions-no one's going to change that.
I Am Me. And I am Okay.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Something I Hate About Myself--Day 1
So, I'm doing this challenge called 30 days of truth. It gives you a topic a day to write about, and is supposed to be quite enlightening. You're never supposed to write about the first thing you think of; the second or third thing in line is usually much more meaningful.
I have played almost every sport in the book. I've done any activity you can think of. I've taken a variety of classes. But in every single one of these things I just float by. I can be trying my very hardest, but still end up just being average. I'm 101 in a class of 412, 2nd or 3rd place in every debate I've ever done. I'm that person who never gets promoted, who tries and always succeeds, but someone else succeeds faster or higher up than.
There always seems to be someone better than me out there. Always.
Debate: Dixon and Justin
Rifle: Shelby
Softball: Kenzie
Racquetball: Brittany
Basketball: Dani
Volleyball: Liz
Intelligence: David
The list goes on and on. Someone is always better than me. I've never been the person to save the day for my team, or come in first. That's what I hate the most about myself. I'm not extraordinary in anything; just ordinary.
I have played almost every sport in the book. I've done any activity you can think of. I've taken a variety of classes. But in every single one of these things I just float by. I can be trying my very hardest, but still end up just being average. I'm 101 in a class of 412, 2nd or 3rd place in every debate I've ever done. I'm that person who never gets promoted, who tries and always succeeds, but someone else succeeds faster or higher up than.
There always seems to be someone better than me out there. Always.
Debate: Dixon and Justin
Rifle: Shelby
Softball: Kenzie
Racquetball: Brittany
Basketball: Dani
Volleyball: Liz
Intelligence: David
The list goes on and on. Someone is always better than me. I've never been the person to save the day for my team, or come in first. That's what I hate the most about myself. I'm not extraordinary in anything; just ordinary.
Monday, September 20, 2010
The Post In Which I Eat My Words
So, I know I'm long overdue for a post. And a whole lot has happened since I posted last. Firstly. I GOT A TATTOOOOOOO! I am completely in love with it. Here is a picture:
It's for TWLOHA. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I seriously was almost crying before it even started I was so scared. It took about an hour to do, and didn't actually hurt that bad, except for when it hit bone. He said I bled a lot though, which kind of freaked me out. Now it just feels like a sunburn, and it's kind of scabby and nappy, but that should go away soon :) I told my dad. And I think he is going to tell my Mom. But he was going to wait until after I left town. Smart man, he is. Oh and my sister knows as well.
I might actually fail out of school. Seriously. My classes this semester are incredibly hard. I don't know how i'm gonna pull this off. I took a biology test today, and am hoping for a 50% on it. That's how bad it went.
So, the eat my words part of this post:
I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. Yup.
Miss Karlee Brown turned out to practically be my twin.
We both HATE feet, LOVE cholula, and sleep on the opposite end of the bed among other things.
Dani:
dani is pretty chill. she parties. and i just really love her :)
brittany:
she and I have different interests, so sometimes it's kind of hard to understand her. Like she does horse shows and stuff that I know nothing about. But she's generally isnanely nice and fun to be with :)
Aaaand Morgan:
She generally is really sweet, truthfully.
We have a lot more in common than I orginally thought.
So yes. I made some pre-judgements. But you've gotta remember, everyone starts out at hate status with me. EVERYONE. There is no exception. And most of my roommates have gotten way out of hate status. Which is good :) They're a lot of fun and generally are really chill. I'm not super close to any of them, but I'm comfortable with all of them.
It's for TWLOHA. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I seriously was almost crying before it even started I was so scared. It took about an hour to do, and didn't actually hurt that bad, except for when it hit bone. He said I bled a lot though, which kind of freaked me out. Now it just feels like a sunburn, and it's kind of scabby and nappy, but that should go away soon :) I told my dad. And I think he is going to tell my Mom. But he was going to wait until after I left town. Smart man, he is. Oh and my sister knows as well.
I might actually fail out of school. Seriously. My classes this semester are incredibly hard. I don't know how i'm gonna pull this off. I took a biology test today, and am hoping for a 50% on it. That's how bad it went.
So, the eat my words part of this post:
I LOVE MY ROOMMATES. Yup.
Miss Karlee Brown turned out to practically be my twin.
We both HATE feet, LOVE cholula, and sleep on the opposite end of the bed among other things.
Dani:
dani is pretty chill. she parties. and i just really love her :)
brittany:
she and I have different interests, so sometimes it's kind of hard to understand her. Like she does horse shows and stuff that I know nothing about. But she's generally isnanely nice and fun to be with :)
Aaaand Morgan:
She generally is really sweet, truthfully.
We have a lot more in common than I orginally thought.
So yes. I made some pre-judgements. But you've gotta remember, everyone starts out at hate status with me. EVERYONE. There is no exception. And most of my roommates have gotten way out of hate status. Which is good :) They're a lot of fun and generally are really chill. I'm not super close to any of them, but I'm comfortable with all of them.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
New and Improved
So I finally got my schedule all worked out. I'm annoyed I had to change it in the first place, but it's good now. I was originally taking softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, music, government, and english. Katherine was going to help me with Music 1010, and I was going to help her with government. She just up and decided yesterday to quit music 1010 without telling me, leaving me totally screwed over. that class is HARD. There's no way I could pass it. I don't actually have to take government; I got those credits out of the way in high school. I considered dropping government and letting Katherine deal with it on her own, which seemed like a good idea. Instead, for once in my life, I took the higher, less vindictive road, and stayed enrolled in the class.
Frustrating, yes. My new schedule: softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, government and english! Yes! the cute counselor in the career center switched my credit hours up so I still have enough for my scholarship without music. She just transferred me to a different fit for life class that will allow me to have the same number of credit hours as before! It's a wonderful thing. that took a huge load off my shoulders, and should free up a lot of time now, so I shouldn't be nearly as stressed as I was. Hopefully.
Also, I was going to go into more detail about Dani here. I was kind of vague last time because I was super tired. But right now I'm in that awkward stage where you've stayed awake past the point where you're supposed to fall asleep...so you can't fall asleep anymore. If that even makes sense. So. Dani We have almost exactly the same opinion on religion and life in general. It is so crazy. We only found out about all of these likenesses the other day but I already feel incredibly close and able to confide in her. It's a good thing to be living with someone like her :)
Frustrating, yes. My new schedule: softball, fitness for life, communications, biology, biology lab, government and english! Yes! the cute counselor in the career center switched my credit hours up so I still have enough for my scholarship without music. She just transferred me to a different fit for life class that will allow me to have the same number of credit hours as before! It's a wonderful thing. that took a huge load off my shoulders, and should free up a lot of time now, so I shouldn't be nearly as stressed as I was. Hopefully.
Also, I was going to go into more detail about Dani here. I was kind of vague last time because I was super tired. But right now I'm in that awkward stage where you've stayed awake past the point where you're supposed to fall asleep...so you can't fall asleep anymore. If that even makes sense. So. Dani We have almost exactly the same opinion on religion and life in general. It is so crazy. We only found out about all of these likenesses the other day but I already feel incredibly close and able to confide in her. It's a good thing to be living with someone like her :)
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